Gil Thorp by Henry Barajas and Rachel Merrill for December 24, 2019

2nd in the Valley again?

P1: Who picked out the new thong uni at Springfield? Moon looks in mid-season bloat and deep in his cups, I’m looking forward to a big year of snark!

P2: Timeless Milford monk

P3: where is Irby’s right hand, looks like the Sandusky hand-check

P1, Gil couldn’t even be bothered to give Marjie the starting lineup this season. Coaching at it’s best.

P2, Maybe MopMan could take over the floor shining duties at Springfield. Their janitor couldn’t even be bothered to put on a good shine for the opener.

P3, They’ll find out the real meaning of clamping down later in the showers.

I can’t blame the Mudlarks for taking a while to get used to that not-so-shiny court

I wonder if Marcel Irby can channel his inner BKB and “make things happen” this year.

Seems like Hiawatha James has been around for about 6 or 7 years now

Mmmm, hot Tiger clamps! Anyone else getting hungry?

P1- Hiawatha James. The first irrelevant 3 sport letterman since, wait for it…..Hamani “Hambone” Gaines.

P2- Springfield player shoots like former Ole Miss hot shot Marshall Henderson.

Usually, boys and girls HS teams play doubleheaders and travel together. Or, varsity and JV do the same. But I digress. Picture a longtime figurehead coach who shows up to games in turtlenecks and plaid jackets, likes Countrytime lemonade, is obsessed with his players hygiene, hawks coffee mugs like a traveling carnival barker and longs for a family. Why should Snark Nation be jealous of a coach pushing 85 when he looks younger than us?

Marty had a little ‘face tightening’ while in rehab. He’s live streaming through Pirate Tv. Wait for the "Boo-yah Baby " after the next dunk. Twitter lights him up about the cruel reference to our beloved, and he smirks into the camera. He’s a meme and a new cult hero. A man for our time. I think he’s ready for his own strip.

Engineered for Lamar’s limp wristed throwing style

How does everyone know that’s Irby? Can you actually tell one character from another by their faces? Irby was wearing 45 a few days ago.

Marty Moon announces " Coach Thorp calls a time out to have a pow wow with his point guard Hiawatha James. Let’s see if he tells the Redskin to scalp Springfield’s backcourt when they bring the ball up , in all reality."

Speaking of reality Don’t forget to stop by Bud & Lou’s Liquor,Gun and Ammo Store for all your Christmas giving needs and don’t forget to visit their newly added Legalized Marijuana head shop for all reefer needs, free rolling papers with each purchase , now in all ŕeality back to the game.

The kid behind Marty is about to chunk up those sloppy joes he found in the glove compartment. They smelled kinda funny.

Time to finish up 2013, featuring Herk the Mauler, Beau Dandy, and Silent John Pascoe!

Since today is Christmas Eve.

The ‘King’. Featuring the Master of the Telecaster – James Burton:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tySQhNplzxk

A little Chicago Blues done Memphis style.

Thanks Marty, for giving us the rest of the starters. Gil apparently couldn’t finish the other day, being exhausted from his one day of attending practice in December. And speaking of exhausted, I’m exhausted from spending about 7 hours creating today’s edition of Mopped Up Thorp.

https://moppedupthorp.wordpress.com/

You’d think if I spent that long it would actually be funny. Well, don’t count on it, lol.

In all reality , last minute shopping for a gift for Rubin and Whigham any suggestions , inquiring minds want to know .