Pickles by Brian Crane for February 13, 2020

Certainly sometime today.

Probably.

don’t test your wife on that one, Earl, and just get your keester over there

Roscoe looks pretty comfy, too.

or, I will have to eat all of the chocolate cake, myself.

Twenty minutes later: “What? I SAID I was coming!”

My spouse has trained me that “come here please” or even more “COME HERE !” means that I need to get my butt in gear and move because she’s about to drop or otherwise break something. Or, occasionally, she’s stuck in one of those “can’t set it down and can’t get the door open without setting it down” situations. Either way, the longer I take, the more likely I’ll be buying dinner out tonight.

She means now, not later.

The dog is my hero!

When I’m supposed to pick up a delivery order in three minutes, they always say “it’s almost ready; it’ll be just ten more minutes”.

When I hear that, I know my time is accounted for for the next half hour at the very least.

Roscoe looks like he needs a belly rub ;-)

Sometimes it s very hard to get up when you are comfortable in your easy chair with your dog!

She should have said “please.” And after he shows up an hour later, “Thank you, Darling.” Tomorrow is Valentine’s Day after all. See the love?

If I asked that of my wife she would likely say “I can’t. I have a cat on my lap.”

or until the time she comes out of where ever she is and yells at you!

Earl is comfy and we all know Opal is just going to complain about something so why go!

In other words, you silence your guilty consience with a diner at Benny’s?

Sounds like, in the meantime, he’s planning on taking an emergency nap being he’s all laid back with Roscoe.

This is the start of another barrage of snarky, witty insults…..trust me….

I love how Roscoe is sitting like a person.

OMG – the DOG is becoming EARL..!!!!

I have learned to interpret the urgency of the “….can you come here?” by the tone and thus determine how fast I have to move before the second, louder, and more direct command.

My wife seems to forget that I’m not as young and spry as she is. It takes time to put the laptop aside, ease out of the recliner, put on my flip-flops and shamble to wherever she is calling from – usually the bottom of the stairs with an armload of heavy shopping bags, or something else she wants to be carried up the stairs.

When someone says "Just a second. " I say one thousand one…….one thousand two………

He’s got DOS.

Newton’s First Law of Motion; A body at rest will remain at rest until acted on by an outside force. In this instance, body = Earl; outside force = Opal. Even so, inertia must be overcome for the body to go into motion.

How does a woman get a man used to taking orders? She starts by telling him to do things she knows he is going to do anyway.

By end of business Tuesday.

I think his response should just be OK, Not just a second. Or, my fathers response when ever my mom called him “Eventually”

Are they watching TV or something?

Before she died, my wife was in home hospice and I installed a baby monitor to attend to her nighttime needs. She asked for her white noise machine. I couldn’t sleep. She agreed to turn off the monitor as she was doing OK. Some time later I found her on the floor all covered with blankets and propped with a pillow. The slight pain in her shoulder was the broken clavicle from the fall. Have a happy Valentine’s Day young lovers wherever you are. And that “…till death…” is real baloney!

Feeling uncommonly energetic, it seems.