Non Sequitur by Wiley Miller for March 05, 2020

Did the sign get stuck to the bench when the paint dried?

Needs to sit on it to check.

I’m going to stick a sign on my apartment door

QUARANTINE

COMPUTER VIRUS

DO NOT ENTER

Most people would think that’s a bench. But no. The sign will remain there forever and that’s just a easel to hold it.

A warning for time travelers.

All over the world, if you put up a sign that says “wet paint” in the local dialect, you’ll find smudges where people have tested the veracity of the sign.

PS: If in doubt, just rip the sign off the back and. put it face up on the seat and sit there.

You can tell a man that the universe has billions of stars and he will believe you…Tell a man that a bench has wet paint and he will have to touch it to find out…

I still loved it when a comedian put a DRY PAINT on park benches, and everyone who saw the sign felt a need to touch the bench.

When the bench becomes your enemy…

I just saw it recently; “Question Everything!”.

A bench outside my local food store, next to a recycle bin, is signed “Was once a bunch of plastic bags.”

A “Keep Off Bench” sign would work as well as a “Keep Off Grass” sign.

Put up a sign that reads, “Dry Paint” on a wall, then watch how many people touch it to see if it really is dry.

Read the fine print.

You know that man is going to find another bench, don’t you? Just in case.

We had a room with a sign warning! 50,000 ohms

But does the statement reference the bench or the sign?

76% of the kids getting out of high school would fail this comprehension test.

Years and years ago, when I was in college, a friend and I placed a “Reserved” sign on a park bench, and then watched from behind some shrubbery. For hours, no one sat on that bench. I’m sure we had a reason for such silliness, but for the life of me I cannot recall what it was.

The Universe doesn’t play tricks on us like that. It might shut down the sun, though…

The reverse side of the sign says “Only fooling!”

In the interest of full disclosure and public safety, wet paint signs should come with postings of time of origin and expected time of drying. A web site and facebook page should also be made available for updates.

Maybe the “Wet paint” part of the sign was made with regular paint, then the other lettering was made in a kind of paint that only shows up when it is dry, supposedly at the same time as the bench.

Not sure what the expected results are here:

Keep on walking (fail?)

Touch it and if dry, sit down (pass?)

Sit down w/o touching (gullible/trusting?)

In the days of payphones if you wanted to make sure that one was always available all you had to do was put a sign on one that said “this phone is in perfect condition” and no one would use it. Put a sign on one that said “out of order” and many people would check to see if it really was.

Maybe Wiley could invite us over sometime so we could watch his ink dry……..

“Not quite wet paint.”

“A cat which has sat on a hot stove will never do so again. But it will not sit on a cold stove either.” — Mark Twain, close as I can remember it. It’s that negative re-enforcement…

a wet paint sign is not a warning – it is an invitation

Trump would fail even this simple reading test.

Paint the words “Wet Paint” onto the bench Permanently.

50 years later, when it is flaking off, people will still be touching it to check.

♪ “Sign, sign, everywhere a sign…” ♪