Pearls Before Swine by Stephan Pastis for March 14, 2020

Goat doesn’t need this.

They don’t really want your identity. They want what your identity gives you access to: Your bank account, credit cards etc. Or, very often, just the money they get by selling your ID stuff to somebody. Not different in kind than stuff that’s been going on since people invented speech.

who would want to steal my identity?

“Good name in man and woman, dear my lord, Is the immediate jewel of their souls. Who steals my purse steals trash; ’tis something, nothing;’Twas mine, ’tis his, and has been slave to thousands; But he that filches from me my good name Robs me of that which not enriches him,And makes me poor indeed.” — Othello Act 3, scene 3, 155–161

I guess those impostors are named Mouse and Hog.

This might seem like an uncomfortable situation, but I’m sure you guys can all get along with each other. Why don’t you all watch a movie together, like Invasion of the Body Snatchers or John Carpenter’s The Thing?

Reminds me of Calvin’s Duplicator Box.

Huh! They’re living in a ninny state now.

We have met the enemy and they are us!!

Pig has more issues than National Geographic!

“Hey……isn’t that……Nah! It’s those bogus guys Juice & Merril!”

One Rat is all we need ! Two no way ! … Croc Power !

Mmm, twice as much bacon….

Double vision.

I feel like i’m in “The Twilight Zone”.

So one Rat is right handed, and one is left handed…I’d say one is from the Mirror Universe, but he doesn’t have a goatee….

That’s some impressive identity theft.

Send in the clones.

Since virtually all identity thief occurs at the corporate level there’s not much one can do.

Paranoia has a grip on America, thanks to the incompetent demented WH swamp dweller.

If anyone stole my identity, they’d have to pay me big time to get me to take it back.

They don’t want your identity, just your money.

Who would want to be identified as a Rat, other than a Rat? Oh, I see…

Welcome to the Pearls Before Swine fan convention. Unfortunately, it’s being shut down due to corona virus. Luckily it wasn’t swine flu this time.

They’re just clones

It’s not really paranoia when there are so many jerks who are out to steal using you as the scapegoat. Identity Theft is perhaps the biggest single threat to us today since it can quickly ruin your life and takes years to recover from the impacts.

Can you spell pseudonym? Do you practice safe surfing? Do you use an Excel random alphanumeric and special character generator specific to each situation? How about a Top Secret Clearance and decades of career experience and fancy papers hanging on the wall?

Just wait until there are twice as many puns.

The “President” loves to whinny/ but here’s the genuine skinny/ however he tries/ his whinnies are lies/ and who listens to him is a ninny.

Ever notice that each time banks and credit card companies do things to make it harder for folks to steal your identity that it actually has the opposite effect.

I really need to get my eyes checked.

Or maybe Cartoon-Boy needs to have bodywork done on his warped imagination….

ID theft, or cloning?