Herman by Jim Unger for March 24, 2020

My uncle went into a bar where they locked the door after he entered. (Before fire safety rules did away with such.)

They explained, “If you start something, you don’t leave ‘til it’s over.”

(Would also cut down on bill jumpers.)

They just want to make sure he practices social distancing.

What about the ones the paramedics carry out on stretchers?

Gives new meaning to the term, “restaurant chain”.

I know what they have for dessert…Apple fetters.

Must be a Denny’s or Bob’s Big Boy

Do a runner. Dine and dash. Chew and screw. I feel like I’m missing one or two. :P

Here’s a LINK to help you understand our policies…ooooh, ….it’s all locked up …..sorry

And if you don’t give a big enough tip, we’ll lose he key.

And you would be surprised at how many honest customers never come back.

I guess they had to choose: Shackle or Tackle.

He was captive-ate’d !

Did you know Burger King has a dungeon?

definitely would make it hard to eat; not being able to get close enough to the table to eat his meal.

Go with the model gas stations.. car rentals.. hotels.. use, deposit a credit card first.

And in that greasy spoon diner, no one leaves without praying.

Their version of a restraining order.

Actually, if he knew how many people, he WOULDN’T be surprised by the shackles. But then, I don’t go to those kinds of places, and if he doesn’t either, maybe he WOULD be surprised. Point being, the professionally edited version would read: “You’d be surprised how many people walk out without paying.” As written it isn’t nonsensical, but close, and ultimately of an opposite meaning.

Some restaurants you should leave before you even eat there….

They never have to worry about Return Customers cause they never leave. :-}