Loose Parts by Dave Blazek for April 10, 2020

Is the grammar mistake intentional?

Being out of milk would be an emergency to me. I need it for my coffee.

now, beer would be a real emergency…

Is that first word “your” a typo that got past the editors, or a part of the joke that I’m missing?

I’m sure that “R” is just a typo…

though it seems to be also functioning as a test of the “non-emergency worrying system.”

Meanwhile… funny, this just hit on my actual inner conflict.

Trying so hard not to go anywhere for at least another week… but about to run out of milk…. (and bananas, oranges, and fresh green veg.)

Prohibitive delivery fee to order so little… and I’m compulsive about choosing my own produce anyway.

I stocked up on non-perishables… not to hoarding levels, but I’m OK for a while.

I eat cereal with milk every day, though… and you can only buy so much fresh produce and have it keep.

I KNOW a week of without milk, fruit or lettuce is better than Covid-19….

but it all feels so unreal.

Stay safe everyone!

You are out of toilet paper. Forget the milk!

The self-fulling prophecy. There is a shortage of toilet paper – go out and empty the shelves NOW.

OK now. There is a shortage of CoCo puffs. Go out and empty the shelves NOW.

Actually, I did notice that the cereal aisle was empty except for the chocolate-covered sugar bombs and the like. Even in mindless panic mode, people still have some sense when it comes to choosing their food.

The most ludicrous “shortage” is on bottled water. If this emergency was a flood or hurricane or earthquake or some other disaster that might compromise the water supply I could see it. However that’s not the case. People are panic buying what they can get for free at their closest water tap because somebody told them there is a shortage and they believe them without fact checking. PT Barnum was wrong: there’s more than one born every minute.

Farmers required to dump milk due to over-abundance:

https://markets.businessinsider.com/news/stocks/milk-dumped-as-stores-limit-due-to-shortages-why-2020-4-1029069059

Some farmers are dumping milk and chucking eggs, restaurant closings have destroyed demand.

The real emergency broadcast system must be some archaic leftover forced on radio stations. The only thing they do is test it with that annoying BEEP-BEEP-BEEP and the dude saying if this had been a real emergency etc… One question; where the hell were they on 9/11? It doesn’t get much more emergency than that.

You have no face masks. You must go to the store to buy some. However, you won’t be allowed into the store unless you’re already wearing one.

Works better when snow is forecast…

If this were a real non emergency authorities would have cautioned you not to call 911 and would fave given instructions on where to buy milk.