Pearls Before Swine by Stephan Pastis for May 09, 2020

This one isn’t over, yet.

Pig, you are all set for a stapler shortaqe. Who knows what the next panic will be?

In a pinch, staplers can make good short-range weapons. Might be useful when the zombies come in July.

good luck at that

Pig is going to cut the yellow pages, Victoria’s Secret catalog, and campaign literature to the size of toilet paper then staple them together into a roll.

Staplers and toilet paper are hardly comparable; you can’t use one in place of the other.

Anyone remember the Croc’s Fantastic “Four” story line with “Stapler Head”?

https://www.gocomics.com/pearlsbeforeswine/2009/01/21

Surprised that nobody picked up on the fact that in a stay-home situation, you need all kinds of (food) staples. Including TP†

† I long ago learned that when you’re co-housing with someone and sharing (only) food, TP is food, but beer is not.

Staples would make toilet paper super uncomfortable.

I don’t care if these characters are anthropomorphic, no pig is that dense. It’s a lifetime supply of staples you want, not hundreds of staplers!

I used to work in an office where all the supplies came from Staples. Terrible name for an office supply place. You go into the supply cabinet looking for one little box of refills for your one stapler, and what do you see? Nothing but stacks of boxes of all different sizes, from the floor to the ceiling, all of them labeled “Staples” in big red letters.

Pig’s face in the third panel is a thing of beauty

You want to stockpile staples, Pig, not staples.

You know, bottled water, crackers, rice, peanut butter, powdered milk…

I hope Pig doesn’t become too attached to his staples. You never know who might want to confiscate them.

Next time I get the chance, I’m going to stockpile printer ink. ‘Cause I ran out last month and it’s killing me all the things I can’t print out until Staples opens up again!!

You can’t use either without trees.

So that’s where Milton’s red stapler went!

Well, you’re supposed to stock up on ‘staples’!

Go for it Pig ! Staple away ! … Croc Power !

Roll with it, Pig!

red swinglines?

But toilet paper is a staple!

NOT the same… I’ve used the same stapler hundreds of times.

It’s something to keep him busy….from going nuts

One of my staff, back in 1975, misunderstood my order for a box of staples. I got a case, I am finally down to the last box.

Wrong kind of staples, Pig.

I want tons of food to last a while.

Ouch!

Pig needs to also stock up on antibacterial oinkment for all the cuts he’ll have on his backside

Crap – I thought I was all stocked up on necessary supplies. Now you’re telling me I need staples?

why would you need staples for a pandemic

True, no staples and we soon starve to death.

i’m stocking up on pickling spices and vinegar in anticipation of all the amateurs wanting to make pickles later this summer

Print all political flyers and junk mail on soft, absorbent paper.

All you really need is a garden hose! (and a good nozzle)

Pig should be hoarding staples, not staplers. Hoarding staplers makes as much sense as hoarding tp holders.

er, which I guess makes as much sense as hoarding tp.

Bought them at Neiman Marcus on sale.

I don’t get the toilet paper hoarders. It’s the FLU. A respiratory infection. Not a case of eating Taco Bell three meals a day!

You think the toilet paper situation was crazy? Wait till 300 million people all try to get haricuts at the same time!

Does it, Goat? In your efforts to sound like the superior voice of reason, you seem to have failed to realize that your bum’s not gonna feel very good if you carry this out.

I just see a pattern in these comments. Whenever a strip is about something ever so controversial, these comments turn into the presidential debate with hundreds of people.

Maybe “you never can tell when you’ll need a stapler,” but it seems to me that Pig has found a solution in search of a problem….

Um, the pandemic was still ongoing in May.