Gil Thorp by Henry Barajas and Rachel Merrill for June 02, 2020

The plot, such as it is, may have finally surfaced.

Twainreader, what was it Twain said in the intro to…Tom Sawyer? Huckleberry Finn?…anyone looking for a plot will be shot?

(Stabbed with a butter knife in this case.)

The 1st annual Milford vs. Valley Modified Charity Baseball Classic. Pirate TV and WDIG will broadcast. Does Milford have enough shower capacity for both teams?

The Longest Shard

P1, The angry mob outside The Bucket protesting The Mayor’s appearance will soon begin looting. Butterknives will be the first thing to go.

P2, We used to have big Sunday afternoon games against the PRC team, Prerelease Center, in the town I grew up in. I knew quite a few of the guys on that team.

P3, Fist Bump Man!

In all reality , unfortunately Valley Conference rules prohibit non conference games from being played once conference games begin ,the penalty is all conference games are forfeited .

P4: Let’s win this for all the alternative schools that never had a chance to get here.

Already causing trouble at his new school. Next stop Juvie!

P1 – Wow, that’s quite a traffic jam in the parking lot. Mayor McCheese really attracts a crowd.

P3 – Oh boy, so it’s been leading up to this? Kind of a “The Longest Yard” type matchup? No, just no. I don’t care if they have athletes, you can’t just randomly throw together athletes and compete well against a team with players that have a specific position, have been playing it for a long time, and have been practicing and playing games. The Valley Modified Juveniles pitcher will get pummeled! But, if like in the movie they cheat, do things like stab the Milford players, throw beanballs, intentionally bodycheck them, maybe they have a chance.

And speaking of chances, your chances of reading today’s Mopped Up Thorp are really good if you go here: https://moppedupthorp.wordpress.com/

Move over BKB, there’s a new Mayor in town who can, apparently, make things happen.

P-1: the Bucket gets a great response to an offer of free fries with with every Gyro

The kids will get all pumped up for a game, but clown’s-fun-killing Dr. Perl will put an immediate stop to it after reviewing “district policy” along with insurance policies, telling Gil “this is serious”

So the Mayor is there like a week and he already knows 10 baseball players? Reprobates with Bats.

Anyone willing to standby to confiscate the bats from Valley Modified after each at bat?

Gil is pissed when Mayor’s ragtag team takes the field wearing Milford’s new uniforms that were stolen from the school’s storage room. With the name changed to “Mean Modified”. “Modified Machine”? We’ll have to work on the name.

The question is, how did they manage to get the key to the storage room? And how much did it cost them to acquire said key? Not that I know anything about that.

This should be a fun game. While Mike is stealing bases, Ardiss will be in the parking lot stealing cars.

In all reality , Valley Modified Juvie already has uniforms being sponsored by Acme Bail Bonds and equipment supplied by Jake’s Pawn Shop and cheerleaders supplied by Jiggle’s Gentlemen’s Club

I hope Herk the Mauler is available to coach Milford Modified.

P4: Hiawatha boy gets all giddy when The Mayor asks him to play him. He whips out his three card monte card deck and thinks that Christmas came early.