Pearls Before Swine by Stephan Pastis for August 01, 2020

That’s why texting is better. The other person has no choice but to read it.

Richard Pryor and Gene Wilder in the animal world .

Tag—you’re it!

Well Rat, I called you because someone is calling you to let you know the warranty on you car is expiring; someone called you from social security called to let you know your account is about to be suspended; someone called you about discounted phone service if you bundle cable, internet, premium channels; someone called you to say you may be a winner; someone called you for debt relief; …

This was EXACTLY the conversation my wife and I had just the other day!

Seems like some of the messages left on my answering machine where the person hasn’t listened to the recording and has no idea about having reached a wrong number.

i prefer people who just give up and leave me alone to people who insist on leaving messages…

Goat’s having a senior moment. Now what did I come in here for?

Goat wanted to hide at Rat’s place today to escape getting sacrificed.

I have a friend like that. His never listens to his voice mail and his mailbox is always full. I’ve learned to hang up after the fourth ring. He will call me back. (I wouldn’t be surprised if he also calls telemarketers back.)

A lot of times, even for business purposes, I will call and the voicemail will be full!

Rat’s full of it. I mean voicemail! :D

When I get an email, I acknowledge I got it even if no response necessary. I think it is a good thing to do especially if important. I wish other people would do that.

Well Rat if you had listened to the voicemail you would know you did not have to call back. Was info only message ;-) … Croc Power !

Ugh – no (long-winded) voicemails please; just text me.

Great beginning for a who-dun-it. . .or who didn’t dun it. . .

This reminds me of making me watch a video in order to do something, id rather just skim through text. Future generations will not speak on phones. The current one barely can

I hate hearing DING …. DING on texts from my wife’s friends after we’ve gone to bed.

This happens all too often.

Just text him.

When it comes to the gf’s dad, I’ll go with the message. Talking live, the dude just goes on and on and on.

No one wants to talk anymore. Text. No voicemail, Zoom, etc. ok. Sigh.

Who’s on first?

Not so much phone tag, as phone blind-man’s bluff.

I have a colleague who does this. Found a solution. I call, wait for his answer machine and hang up. He calls back since he sees my number. Don’t have to waste my time leaving a message he wont listen to (I can only speak so many words a day-personal rule).

LOVE IT!!

“Don’t bother leaving a message, I haven’t listened to my messages since 2005.” – My outgoing message

We have several dolts at work who will send an email to a coworker then immediately go over to that coworker and ask if they’ve read the email.

Why did Rat even bother calling Goat back?

Mrs. Baker: Did you read my text?

Me: What text?

Mrs. Baker: I sent you a text. Read it.

Me: What did it say?

Mrs. Baker: Read it and find out.

Me: Why can’t you just tell me?

Mrs. Baker: Because I already texted it to you!

And, so on and so on and …

My goose quill pen is text averse

tl;dr

What would we do without Rat and his comebacks

if you leave a message, and nobody listens to it….

Goat is so annoyingly self-righteous.

Rat’s the MAN here….

I don’t read text, I delete it without opening it. My phone is to make a call. Darn shame that I still am forced to purchase a smart phone. Which I did in 2011. Still got it.

I have done this far too often myself.