Arlo and Janis by Jimmy Johnson for September 23, 2020

“WHAT elephant?”

There were only half a dozen anyway.

Great answer! I’ll have to remember that the next time my wife makes the same complaint.

Enjoy the couch and celibacy.

You paid for it, pick out any nut you like.

Some people like to eat their food one food at a time before moving on to the next food. On to the filberts! On to the almonds! On to the pecans! Save the peanuts for Janis!

That used to happen to me. Now I go to Costco and get the big jar of just cashews. I don’t know about everyone else, but I am happy.

I get the Mixed Nuts with “50% peanuts” and eat the peanuts first to see how close they are to 50%.

I buy mixed nuts for myself and cashews for husband. After he finishes “his” cashews, he digs into my mixed nuts and eats everything but the almonds. Drives me crazy!

The Law of Randomness strikes again.

OK, OK, I was distracted because when eating cashews I like to dance the Macadamia like a nut from Brazil while shouting “YES WE PECAN.”

Things are a bit different here. My Janis says, “Hey! Who ate the entire can?”

She’s like a lawyer. She never asks a question for which she doesn’t already know the answer.

I actually prefer the peanuts

I usually pick out the hazel nuts first and then the Brazil nuts. That’s the point of mixed nuts, people have different preferences.

She should just buy him a can of cashews. problem solved.

Why get mixed nuts if you can’t eat the ones you like? Isn’t that the entire point?

I bought a can of mixed nuts, that said in also contained cashews and macadamia nuts. Love cashews and macadamia nuts. I expected it to be 80% peanuts. There were exactly one cashew and one macadamia nut. Unexpectedly, it was about 50% almonds. Sadly, I hate almonds.

and the results of your research?

And we know he’s always eating the green M&Ms.

Oh nuts!

Those nuts make you sneeze. You know, CASHEEEW.

My dad did that and drove my mom nuts. After he passed I told her how happy she should be that the nut can was all hers. She stopped buying them when he passed. I think she just needed another reason to yell at him. This is the same woman who kept his ashes in the side drawer for 2 1/2 years and pulled the box out occasionally to yell at him.

Janis has gone to long sleeves. it is Autumn now.

Brazil nuts for me (although I understand that down in Brazil, they refer to them only as ‘nuts’).

That’s one of those things where you pick out a cashew, then another, then another and then all of a sudden they are gone. It is like a threshold problem.

Simple solution. Just go to Costco and get that 5 pound plastic jar and make everyone happy. Same price as that small can of mixed nuts…..

My wife doesn’t care about the cashews, but I’d better leave the pecans for her!

Well, let’s see:

(function(){var%20cashews=$(‘[class^=“cashews-list-”]’);var%20totalcashewcount=$(‘.item’).length;if($(‘span#allcashews’).()==undefined){for(var%20i=0;i<cashews.length;i++){link=cashews[i].firstElementChild;if(link.inner.indexOf(‘%20repl’)>0){totalnutcount+=parseInt(link);link.eat();}}$(‘span#size’).append(‘%20<span%20id="allnuts">’);}setTimeout(updatecount(),%205000);function%20updatecount(){$(‘span#allcomments’).html(‘%20(’+totalnutcount+’,%20including%20cashews)’);}})();

= 100% ☺

Arlo, you can have the cashews. I can’t stand them! Give me walnuts, pecans, pistachios, Brazil nuts, and almonds and I will be happy as a clam.

Proving intent is never easy.

Sometimes you feel like a nut….sometimes you don’t

Get a can of cashews just for Arlo on your next shopping trip.

Guilty as charged.

I got a handful of cashews in the middle of reading the comments.

Same as you sleeping on the couch…

You can get 100% cashew cans you know?

I am so lucky. My SO doesn’t like cashews, and I am not fond of filberts. It all works out.

Dia, Bob, end of story. ;-)

The game is rigged.

Better teeth than we have for two people around the same age as they are.