Frog Applause by Teresa Burritt for October 26, 2020

I am not a fan of hairy potatoes.

How is it possible to describe a moth called a hairy potato moth without it also sounding like the potatoes are hairy, too?

I have a hard time rubbing lotion on my back. I’m not sure how I’d manage picking, pulling, or yanking hairy potato moths out of my butt. Assuming I was wearing pants during an attack, how did they gain entry to my backdoor orifice? And why attack my butt? Why not my elbows or my forehead? So many questions.

I’m having a problem letting this moth attack thing go. Why not rent a flamethrower? I don’t know if Mr. Iguana Pants is related or a neighbor or his tax accountant, but why put all of your hopes on the assumed pyrokinetic abilities of this person? Come prepared or trade that cereal-box telescope in for something that can KILL.

Gerd your loins, prepare for moth battle.

This is my last comment. I promise. They are not carrying firearms and those aren’t long enough to be a walking stick, so what is it? Are they plumbers and that is some copper piping? Then again, maybe they are copper thieves trying to come up with diversion (a hairy potato moth attack) in order to cover up their copper pilfering. I don’t think I can sleep tonight. There are way too many ifs with today’s Frog Applause.

I had to pull a June bug out of my butt once. It was in July, though.

I’ve had GERD for decades; a defective LES is to blame. I wonder if butt spiders would not be less annoying…

…between the blog and FA, a hypochondriac would be having a field day…

…of course, the salad plates would be soothing…

…or are the food plates?…

…and why are the plates more important than what is on it?…

…if I died via piano falling on me…

…would that be a funny death or a sad death?…

…a hundred years from now…I want to die a funny death…

…want people to say…

…‘Now, that’s funny.’ …

…and you just don’t get that much…

…maybe death just isn’t funny…

…though I heard he does have a good gag or two…

…thank you Gocomics…

…wherever you are…

If I “gastro reflux” all over the hairy moths, that should do it! That will kill anything….like it’s killing meeeeee!

So, in summary, come at the pesky moths from both ends then?

I hate to tear everyone away from HPMs, but …

…

Charles Nelson Reilly is dead dead dead

Some Grateful Dead fans too are dead

(Is it OK to rhyme “dead” with “dead”?)

Frog Blog chorks get outta my head!

(with apologies to Teresa, Jerry Garcia, and subliminal poets everywhere)

I don’t know that I have the Intestinal Fortitude to keep up with the steady stream of gut-stuff content of late in FA.

Tweedle-Dumb’s GERD powers may not be pyrotechnic, but they provide nonetheless a sufficient diversion from the hairy potato moth infestation!

Oh, Orkin Man!™

Everyone has super powers. You should check it out: http://www.ruthozeki.com/writing-film/a-tale-for-the-time-being

Famous GERD sufferers from days gone by: Martin Luther, Samuel Pepys, Neville Chamberlain.

LittleLameLetters®™, (have I mentioned them?) are just chocked full of it …uh, I mean, are brimming over with helpful, pithy hints on developing your latent pyrokinetic abilities to eradicate hairy potato bugs, GERDing your loins, and fashion tips for all your hillock climbing needs.

No major credit card required, just follow the Link below!

https://64.media.tumblr.com/49ba77c8d6a69e6361e2e3c8ec1b8c55/a00926f41371e189-bd/s1280x1920/148b9cdc18ca811a2819113177fc26d31d32aafc.jpg

The excess acid in the stomach turns the bottom of the esophagus into a hard rubbery substance which can become cancerous but its slow moving so you will probably die of something else first.

Eat a molasses cookie the first thing in the morning. Molasses is alkaline and will off set the excess acid.

So do i

Favorite pyrokinetic saying when I was in school in Atlanta: "S**t fire and save matches.

From the FA Pyrokinetic Mania and Stain Removal Handbook: “Soaking an anthill with a generous amount of gasoline and applying one lit match results in a most satisfying ‘whoomp and flame’ that works well for ants … but watch the video of that guy who blew up his lawn first and don’t wear your bunny slippers …!“

“See also ‘Lit Torches for Potato Moths’, and ‘Fire Eating for GERD’ covered in chapters 3 and 92 respectively.”

Almost all documented pyrokinetics have been pre-teen girls.

https://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/9/94/Phthorimaea_operculella_ventral.jpg

Did he threaten to use that power on the people who run this place if they ever consider cancelling the strip again?

I’ve decided that this comic is just a strange Rorshach test. We are guinea pigs in some mad scientist’s research project. And we are even getting paid for it.

…Dorian Grey drove Oscar Wilde…

…for is it ‘a’ before ‘e’ when it comes to gray/grey?…

…why two/too/to many spellings for the same thing?…

…if blue lives matter why does all matter continue to exsist?…

…can matter be destroyed?…

…does it not just take a form fitting pair of pants to be called Stretchers?…

…and how come on the Tv and in the movies when the hang up the phone they never say goodbye?…

…I mean who doesn’t do that?…

…and why doesn’t anybody have a dog on Television?…

… Mannix didn’t…

…no one on Friends did…

…was there a single dog in War And Peace?…

…an sharing that you are going to cleanse…

…why do we need to know that like you are going on a retreat or something?…

…and how much does a duelly pick up truck cost?…

…they can’t be cheap…

… it’s a bunch of malarkey…

…because there some bad very nasty people out there…

…read more books…