Close to Home by John McPherson for December 06, 2020

Whatever that synthetic is i hope it will peel off easy and is breathable.

Bleeb is stayin’ out of it.

My spidey sense is tingling.

Where can I buy them? My coworker would love those. He is always ranting about please not wearing masks.

Good aim.

If it will also work like a mute, I’m sold!!!

I’ll take some.

Wouldn’t “Silly String™” do the same thing?

Was that stuff invented by Peter Parker?

On a par with the thought police.

I see this comic as a commentary on how far people would be willing to be meddlesome bullies in the name of public safety.

A good idea for those people who don’t get the idea that public safety is not violating your rights, its protecting your right to be well.

Great. Karen in a Can. Just what 2020 needed.

Holy crap! The Spiderman mask company, LLC is about to go public. I want in on that action.

And your mask will hide your missing teeth.

Great! If you don’t mind being shot.

I live in a 68% voted Trump area. Is this available at Amazon?

They could’ve sold lots of this at the Teal Stadium in Myrtle Beach in the BYU vs Coastal Carolina College Football Game. The rarity was someone WEARING a mask.

One DEAD squirter.

I believe “thwip” is the correct onomatopoeia if you are channeling Spider-Man.

Wearing a mask is not a political statement. It’s an intelligence test.

Gather ‘round kids, it’s time for another mask story from yer ol’ Uncle Dobie! Your Aunt is in the backyard burying a dead pet goldfish, so we have time for this story. She’s burying it, instead of just flushing it, because apparently I’m an idiot and clogged up the toilet the last time. Sheesh, I really thought that catfish would make it all the way down, but boy was I wrong… and in a BIG way! But I digress… yesterday, I was out of masks, so I stopped at the convenience store to snag a RedBull and get some more masks. The clerk was mad because I wasn’t wearing one, and said: “you’re supposed to have a mask on to come here!” And I said: “ I know, but I’m out of masks and came in here to buy some!” After a couple rounds of that, I said: “gimme just a minute, I think I can solve this quick!” So I ran to the back of the store, grabbed these diaper/underwear looking things for kids called “Pull-Ups”, took Ol’ Rusty, my good ol’ pocket knife, cut some eye holes in one of those Pull-Ups (they already conveniently had earholes) pulled it over my head and ran back up to the counter and said: “see, now you give me some masks!” Well, I’m now standing there with a weird mask completely covering my head, with my knife still in my hand, demanding masks from the clerk! Needless to say, the next thing I know, I’m being tackled to the floor by all the other civic minded patrons who assumed I was robbing the clerk. So, after I was released from jail, the police gave me a package of masks… for free… sort of. Kids, I’m not sure about the moral here, but if I had to guess, I would say that it doesn’t pay to be as innovative as I am, sometimes it’s just better to back out, regroup and re-strategize. Oh… and I would appreciate that you don’t mention that catfish thing to yer Aunt… she’s still under the impression that it was just a goldfish.

“Karen-In-A-Bottle”!

I’m just wondering what “ERGM SHOES” are?

I don’t even comment to maskless people, partly because I don’t think it would make any difference and partly because I don’t want to be shot. I just give them a big, wide berth or avoid them altogether.

Don’t give the mask enthusiasts any ideas lol

I hope you enjoy pulling those cans out of very dark, very personal holes in your body. If you think that a silly, ill-fitting, touched-all-the-time mask protects you from anything, you’re out of touch with reality and spending your few IQ points listening to the lamestream media. Get online and listen to the other side of the story for once. Get ready to learn something.

Developed by Peter Parker?

don’t go giving them any ideas!

Great way to get sued.

That would cause a lot of black eyes and broken noses .

That’s what I need!!