That is Priceless by Steve Melcher for April 26, 2021

Yvette, the nude artist’s model, was happy the statue was headless. She didn’t want her parents to know what she did for a living.

Karen was puzzled by the statue – how did the model hide her head that way?

Is this what I’m going to look like in five hundred years?

Model, upset that she posed several hours for that crummy sculpture.

Not cool! You need to let me know when you’re going to start painting so I can sit up straight – this slouch makes me look fat.

Team this statue up with Venus de Milo.

And the Oscar for best costume design goes to…

The artist said he would get her stoned …

The Bare Bards summer stock production of Hamlet. “Alas, poor statuette! I knew it, Horatio, before it fell off the shelf and doomed itself to the trash bin.”

“Some producer you are! You said you’d get me an Oscar!”

When you said bust I didn’t think you meant statue…my bad!

Surely the script justified the nude in the movie.

That she’s “letting it all hang out”/ there cannot be the slightest doubt/ but her modest physique/ is so far from unique/ there’s not much to flaunt, or to flout . (Is this a defeat – or a rout ?)

“..but you can keep yo’ hat on !”

“What does this switch on the bottom do?”

I need to tan more. I’m as pasty as this statuette.

As she examined the statue, the model thought to herself that they could both use a little head.

Carla lost again at strip-Clue. It was professor Plum with the statue.

She was puzzled by the award. Didn’t know it was a movie, didn’t even see the camera!!

You want me to see if I can fit it, where?

To be honest, even she didn’t think she was that good.

Imelda began to wonder if her friend was serious about where she was to put her award, and how it would fit.

Been there, Done that, Bought the statue.

Really? Oscar for Best Costume?

Don’t bother dressing for me, I like you just the way you are….best!

Perky Polly pensively posing with Parthanian piece.

“Next time you want to paint boobs, just do a close up, I’m freezing!”

“Perhaps”, she thought, “I should start with a smaller dildo…”

Seated nude with sculpture: 

https://commons.wikimedia.org/wiki/File:William_McGregor_Paxton_Seated_nude_with_sculpture.jpg 

has info and links that point to more info about this roughly jumbo envelope size painting, by a follower of the originally attributed artist.

http://www.artcyclopedia.com/artists/paxton_william_mcgregor.html 

https://www.artrenewal.org/Artist/Index/1010 

https://collections.mfa.org/objects/31974 

https://www.askart.com/artist/William_McGregor_Paxton/23608/William_McGregor_Paxton.aspx 

http://thebostonschoolofpainting.blogspot.com/2011/06/william-mcgregor-paxton.html 

all have info, or links that point to more info, about the originally attributed artist (again, askart.com can be read in full for free on Fridays), perhaps in addition to what’s pointed to by the title URL. So far, 5 works by him or a follower have been used here. 

https://www.gocomics.com/that-is-priceless/2021/04/13?comments=visible 

has the prior by him (my comment there included the same artist info URLs).

Again, a larger strip image is shown by (⌘- or Ctrl-) clicking the image in Mr. Melcher’s MASTERPIECE #2693 (April 25, 2021) blog entry, accessible by the Check out the blog! box after the last comment.

Her costume request was to be modest/ with translucent shimmering panels on the bodice./ But the costume designer/ and some tequila sidelined her/ and her costume was declared the hottest.

Isolde didn’t mind the cranial surgery so much, but the zip-lock skull closure passed her by.

“HEY PASTY! LAY OFF THE PASTRIE!”

“HEY FATTY! LAY OFF THE PATE~”

_The second and third favorite insults shouted from car windows at rotund ladies by uncouth youth when I was a lad. The FAVORITE BEING: drum roll

“HEY LADY! WHERE’D YOU PUT THE SADDLE?”

I never understood that one either.

“What am I supposed to be doing with this? Will this be a porn painting?

“Oh Eros! I’ve tried to live my life according to your tenets and all I got for it was a bun in the oven. From now on, it’s Dionysus 24/7 for me! Where’s my wine goblet?”

♪ Everybody must get stone ♪

Time to reorder. This was the last body condom in the box.

She was OK with posing nude, but not when the sculpture was dressed. Off with its head for such a ruse!

NO! NO! Nanette that is not a dildo!

Sheesh, I thought she was pulling a huge kleenex out of a box.

“It really is a lovely piece of sculpture. But I don’t quite understand why removing my clothing should improve my appreciation of art.”

Not bad. Not bad at all…..

You made this sculpture; but chose not to include the horse with him? Weird.

The love affair of Ophelia and Bradford had started on this very simple piece of furniture, now shrouded with his black cape. Aside from the remembrance of his firm embrace when she laid bare her charms, all her senses could now behold was this broken piece of statuary, left by her lover to remind her of his pledge to return to their post-war love nest.

Brad had been gone for less than a month when Ophelia’s sleep was broken by a loud crash. She rushed downstairs to investigate, only to find Brad’s image knocked to the floor, its head separated from its torso. Part of her cat’s tail was severed, and lay nearby. A small trail of blood led to a break at the base of a screen door. The cat never returned.

Within weeks, Ophelia received a telegram from the War Office. Her beloved Bradley had been killed in action. Earlier that week, she had learned that she was pregnant. Her ebullience dove rapidly into depression.

Here she sits, with her heart, her love, his image, her mind, and her future… all in pieces, seemingly beyond repair.

“Hey! This doesn’t look anything like me!”