Gil Thorp by Henry Barajas and Rachel Merrill for May 15, 2021

You ain’t nothing but a hound dogCrying all the timeYou ain’t nothing but a hound dogCrying all the timeWell, you ain’t never caught a rabbitAnd you ain’t no friend of mine

[Verse]When they said you was high classedWell, that was just a lieYeah, they said you was high classedWell, that was just a lieYeah, you ain’t never caught a rabbitAnd you ain’t no friend of mine

[Chorus]You ain’t nothing but a hound dogCrying all the timeYou ain’t nothing but a hound dogCrying all the timeWell, you ain’t never caught a rabbitAnd you ain’t no friend of mine

[Bridge]Ahh, ahhAhh, ahh

P 3.5 I saw a werewolf with a Chinese menu in his handWalking through the streets of SoHo in the rainHe was looking for the place called Lee Ho Fook’sGonna get a big dish of beef chow mein

[Chorus]Ah-hoo, werewolves of LondonAh-hooAh-hoo, werewolves of LondonAh-hoo

[Verse 2]If you hear him howling around your kitchen doorYou better not let him inLittle old lady got mutilated late last nightWerewolves of London again

[Chorus]Ah-hoo, werewolves of LondonAh-hooAh-hoo, werewolves of LondonAh-hoo, hey

Give meYour dirty loveLike you might surrenderTo some dragon in your dreams

Give meYour dirty loveLike a pink donationTo the dragon in your dreams

I don’t need your sweet devotionAn’ I don’t want your cheap emotionWhip me up some dragon lotionFor your dirty loveYour dirty love

Give meYour dirty loveLike some tacky little pamphletIn your daddy’s bottom drawer

Give meYour dirty loveI don’t believe you never seenHis book before

I don’t need no consolationI don’t want your reservationI only got one destinationAn’ that’s your dirty loveYour dirty love

Give meYour dirty loveJust like your mamaMake her fuzzy poodle do(Oh, Frenchie…)

Give meYour dirty loveThe way your mamaMake that nasty poodle chew

I’ll ignore your cheap aromaAnd your little-bo-peep diplomaI’ll just put you in a comaWith some dirty loveSome dirty loveThat dirty loveThat dirty love

THE POODLE BITES!(Come on, Frenchie)THE POODLE CHEWS IT!(Snap it!)THE POODLE BITES!(Come on, Frenchie)THE POODLE CHEWS IT!(Snap it!)THE POODLE BITES!(Come on, Frenchie)THE POODLE CHEWS IT!(Snap it!)THE POODLE BITES!(Come on, Frenchie)THE POODLE CHEWS IT!(Not a speck of cereal!)THE POODLE BITES!(Come on, Frenchie)THE POODLE CHEWS IT!(Nothing but the best for my dog!)THE POODLE BITES!(Come on, Frenchie)THE POODLE CHEWS IT!(Come on!)THE POODLE BITES!(Come on, Frenchie)THE POODLE CHEWS IT!(Little paws sticking up!)THE POODLE BITES!(Little curly head!)THE POODLE CHEWS IT!(Little curly tail!)

I remember to this dayThe bright red Georgia clayAnd how it stuck to the tiresAfter the summer rainWill power made that old car goA woman’s mind told me that soOh how I wishWe were back on the road again

Me and you and a dog named BooTravelling and living off the landMe and you and a dog named BooHow I love being a free man

I can still recallThe wheat fields of St. PaulAnd the morning we got caughtRobbing from an old henOld McDonald he made us workBut then he paid us for what it was worthAnother tank of gasAnd back on the road again

Me and you and a dog named BooTravelling and living off the landMe and you and a dog named BooHow I love being a free man

Sabotage on a downtown streetPolice cars overturnedYou can’t do nothing to beat the heatAnd if you don’t, you’ll get burned

Sleek women behind every doorCost more than you gotYou best be up ifYou want some moreCause if you don’tYou’ll be shot

Dog, dog, dog eat dogDog, dog, dog eat dogDog, dog, dog eat dog

Kamikaze fromThe hundredth floorSwan dive to the streetHe couldn’t handleThis madness no moreHe craved that sweeter meat

Yeah, yeah, yeahDog, dog, dog eat dogDog, dog, dog eat dogDog, dog, dog eat dog

Dog, dog, dog eat dogDog, dog, dog eat dogDog, dog, dog eat dog…..

Pick your poison b***hes!!!

“That’s the kind of life for me. There’s one thing I wanna be, and that’s a Hound Dog Man, Hound Dog Man, I wanna be a Hound … Dog … Man.”

If her daddy finds out, that hound dog is getting neutered.

Elvis adapted the song… (Well, Elvis never adapted anything, some songwriter adapted it for him) from Big Mama Thornton’s Hound Dog You ain’t nothing but a hound dog, Been snoopin’ ’round the door…

Ruff crowd today.

In all reality , today’s snarks have gone to the dogs WHO LET THE DOGS OUT ?

He’s the hairy-handed gent,

Who ran amok in Kent,

Lately he’s been overheard in Mayfair.

You better stay away from him,

He’ll rip your lungs out, Jim,

Hunh, I’d like to meet his tailor.

Ah-hoooo, Zagnut of Milford!

InZane obviously needs to get back to the library and do a little more studying. He does not know the difference between a hound dog and a bulldog. With apologies to Bette Davis, Buckle your seat belts, this story arc is going to be a bumpy ride.

“Rejoice! Glory is ours!

Our young men have not died in vain,

Their graves need no flowers

The tapes have recorded their names."

P3: “Yaaah, I’m drunk Abe! Let’s party like it’s 1959!”

So messed up, I want you hereIn my room, I want you hereNow we’re gonna be face-to-faceAnd I’ll lay right down in my favorite place

And now I want to be your dogNow I want to be your dogNow I want to be your dogWell, come on

Now I’m ready to close my eyesAnd now I’m ready to close my mindAnd now I’m ready to feel your handAnd lose my heart on the burning sands

And now I want to be your dogAnd now I wanna be your dogNow I want to be your dogWell, come on

P1, You should be telling that to Gil, Corina.

P2,You may be rightI may be crazyBut it just may be a lunatic you’re looking for

P3, Our last giant hands of the week. ARROOOOO!

Time for these two nitwits to take a ride to Swifti Mart

Should I worry that he might start humping her leg?

This idiot doesn’t know how to make a decent move on a girl. I wonder if Corina can fix this, too. She would probably love to make out with Zane’s girlfriend.

Still no shiny floor. Mopman Held Hostage: Day 30.

Dueling parodies! P1:

CK, Butting in again, Asshole, Doing it again, Oh your obnoxiousness is measured out in gab, What makes you think you’re something special when you blab?

You can yell at us, You can yell at us, You can yell at us, When you’re bitchy, you can yell at us

Hey bulldog!, Hey bulldog!…

P2:He ain’t nothin’ but a hound dog, Laming all the time, He ain’t nothin’ but a hound dog, Laming’ all the time, Well, he ain’t never pitched a good game, And he ain’t no fav of Gil

And speaking of parodies, of course, the main one is Mopped Up Thorp: https://moppedupthorp.wordpress.com/

So I normally (including today) do MUT before reading everyone’s comments. Amazing how almost everything I did, including my post above, was similarly brought up by someone already.

Gil-doh! and others, referencing Hound Dog (not surprised everyone came up with that), jslabotnik with Hey Bulldog, Mr Schnobb mentioning doggy style (that’s in MUT!), oldsmkysyvr mentioning leg humping (that’s also in MUT!).

P1: Love the snarled corner of her lip…she’s a tough guy all right.

P3: You can tell she’s his girlfriend because no one else would laugh at that.

Count Floyd!

Don’t worry about me people. I’m getting enough side jobs. Check out my work on counter surfaces in today’s (Sunday) Mary Worth.