Gil Thorp by Henry Barajas and Rachel Merrill for August 10, 2021

CSI Milford: New this fall….only on CBS, with an accent on the BS.

Yeah, that’s got to be the ball. No one else would ever hit a ball off the fairway…

P1: Hey, set me up with the whole shmear…I’ll take two dozen of these, a dozen of the naked lady tees…

P2 Did not realize that MCC is in the middle of farm country. So GilPa went traipsing around Mel Kehoe’s stand of corn after the round to hawk Carter’s ball???

P3 So the sandbagger blew one out of the park with his drive on the 8th hole to pad his score-unlikely…most sandbaggers I know wait until they are on the green and out of the hole and then three putt

Anyhoo-let’s get over to the MILFs at the pool

No penalty stroke for the mulligan?

the plot thickens

Gil is great at ballhawking sandbagger’s errant golf shots. Not so much attending to the needs and supervision of the local yutes.

As an average at best on a good day golfer, I never realized that the ball you use would be the reason for an errant shot, nor the club one uses for that matter, all I know is when I swing well, I get good results and when I swing poorly, I get into trouble or give away strokes quickly. Equipment does make the difference with yardage, once again I am flummoxed by R&W golf speak and logic

“Y’know, we had another problem involving golf balls not too long ago. Some fat gold dealer from Europe claimed he lost a Slazenger ball on a hole. Turned out he was cheating.”

Isn’t a 2 stroke penalty per hole when a ball is illegally substituted? If Hendrix is stooping to those tactics to win at all costs, it only confirms he’s a lowlife, he’d better not get in a money match with Vito

New Milford TV show: " Private Dicks" starring Gil Thorp and Johnny Jawor

Gil has a real talent for finding lost golf balls! Lost kids, not so much.

and if they weren’t playing for money, what does it matter if Cartman hits a bad shot or uses a cheaper ball

As if golf itself was not boring enough…….

As a non-golfer, let me just say: Huh?

You’re telling me that Carter has ultra-soft balls?

Well the Hardy Boys here have already built a strong case against Cart. This looks like an open and shut case of a golfer padding his handicap. Put the call into Chief Wiggum and get this guy thrown into the hoosegow.

And speaking of cases, Gil is presenting his case slightly differently in today’s Mopped Up Thorp: https://moppedupthorp.wordpress.com/

I can’t believe Gil walked back to the 8th hole to find a ball in a field. That can be pretty far from the clubhouse. Or did he go exploring during the round. Who is going to teach Cart his lesson??

So $18 a dozen VS. $48. It adds up during a season of hustling.

So now that line about sailing the green makes a little sense.

Oooh, just wait until Gil looks up the BSU website!

First high school football game is next week and Gil is on the golf course flirting with the female assistant football coach.

Guy must be a terrific golfer. I could no more plan a bad shot than I can a good shot. Sometimes I even hit a great shot, but I never know why. Whatever happens, happens.

P1, Everybody, including the pros on the tour hit shots like that sometimes. Although it’s a lot more fun seeing them do it.

P2, And Gil has the ticks to prove it.

P3, Elementary, my dear Watson.

P 4: “…actually, I found about 27 balls in that field, but I’m pretty sure this one is Cart’s…”

Were they transported from inside the shop to outside between panels 1 and 2? Or just had a lull in the conversation? Beam me up, Mimi

So Gil stole Cart’s ball!

I’m shocked, shocked to find gambling going on in a country club.