Gil Thorp by Henry Barajas and Rachel Merrill for October 25, 2021

Next up … “I, uh, every time, um, I sit across from Denise Burke, I get, you know, um, excited … can you do something about that?”

If I invite them to our next party, can you mass hypnotize the cheerleaders?

Exit high school sports strip . . . enter beginnings of the zombie apocalypse.

In all reality, I think Mrs Thorp is really hot can you hypnotize her to have an affair with me. Why !sure Marty and why don’t I take care of your drinking problem also !

…..meanwhile up North in Syracuse, CK has gone the way of Linda Barrett and is living with her abnormal Pysch professor.

P2.5 “Since I get confused about my blocking assignments, why don’t YOU fix MY choking problem, it will do more for me toward striving for excellence than any attention “Coach” Thorp and the staff give to player performance and development.”

As Gil’s mini me clone also asks to be hypnotized all the rest of the team follows and ends up being Milford’s worst season in history.

All Milford football players, regardless of position, seem to be the same size and have the same build.

P4: How did your hypnosis change me from a green shirt to a blue shirt. And how did you go from a yellow/green collarless shirt to one with a crew collar in one strip to the green you had on today? And what day is today?

What they don’t realize is they have been hypnotized daily to forget what happens in the showers.

P 2: “…this story is borin’ the crap outta’ me….can you fix that?…”

P2.5: Tommy, how hard is sweeping out a 1960’s era jet? By the way, how does a High School kid get a Part time Ground Crew job?As a point of clarity, in the Milford time frame, the play should take its name from Green Bay’s “Power Sweep”.

Of course, the hypnosis will get the team playing better, but HB will tweet that it’s all because of Gil Coryell’s genius with the Delaware Wing-T.

You know, the SATs are coming up. Why not hypnotize everyone so they ace them?

I think Milford is going to win the Valley Now!!!

The team realizes trying anything, no matter how ridiculous, is better than talking to coach.

P4 Serrano: “Hey everybody! What says we all get hypmotized by Spiller here? We can sleepwalk our way to a state championship minus the “coaching” we don’t really get anyway!” Even better we can block out any memory of post-game loofah sessions forever!”

Next scrimmage, Tommy and Tevan take the field doing the chicken walk and flapping their arms.

Through mass hypmotizaion, the team bonds, what’s next? TFCC (Too Cool For Consciousness) buttons and a rally (un)choked chicken for team mascot?

Just when you thought it couldn’t get any stupider, they lower the bar even further. Nice to see the random color changes are back. Between Tevin waking up from his hypnosis session and Tommy calling timeout, he changed his shirt to a darker colored one, and Boyd also changed his shirt. And dyed his hair darker. Just how long was Tevin out for?

And speaking of dying, I’m sure you’re dying to read today’s episode of Mopped Up Thorp.

https://moppedupthorp.wordpress.com/