That is Priceless by Steve Melcher for November 08, 2021

Lolly leaned out her window and joked:

“That’s the ugliest ass ever woke.”

“Tain’t no ass, lass, ’tis a horse.”

She rolled her eyes, "Well, of course.

’’’Twas to the horse, not you, that I spoke."

“Madam, your Uber ride is here.”

If you have the money, you can get any service you want. That includes a horse rental that picks up from your bedroom window so that you can make it to your secret assignation without Dad finding out about it.

Cashier: Do you want spurs with that?

Horse: Neigh.

The Art of the Automobile/ in its early days, lacked much appeal/ – but his means of transport/ when a fellow payed court/ could still help him “close the deal”./// “I hope that my visit wont trouble you/ (you sweet little lovable bubble, you !)/ -but you’ll not be ambivalent/ ’bout my equine equivalent/ of a top of the line BMW !”

In his younger years, Mr. Ed had an affair with a wealth young country lady, but she got tired of his lip and sold him to Wilbur, down the street.

Geoff was wealthy, standoffish and idle. / And he guided his horse by the bridle / toward his new bride inside / before the morning ride / which would end with Geoff deemed suicidal. /// His wife stood at the window to feed / tainted “treats” to the spirited steed, / which would make the beast bolt, / throwing Geoff with a jolt. / “He rode recklessly,” it was decreed. /// Geoff had landed, quite hard, on his head. / He was crippled for life, but not dead. / The wife got, not his purse, / but the duty to nurse / the despised man she’d injured, instead.

The old nag meets the new one…

Gervase thought that Sophie wanted to see him when she said, “Stop by before you join the Hunt.” No, it was the four legged “hunter” she was in love with.

After hours and hours of debate, Eve’s hair stylist finally came back with that hack asking: " Now, is THAT the kind of ponytail you have in mind?"

It is indeed a fine steed Cedric but my attire I hoped would inspire a ride in your Stutz you klutz.

“Wilbur, I said take me to stud with the Philly, not Phyllis.”

This is just awkward from every perspective.

Emily my dear, do you now understand when I say I’m “hung like a race horse”? It has nothing to do with ropes and gallows!

A new take on Cyrano de Bergerac.

What’s this? Not a single “Catherine the Great” reference? When did this crowd get classy?

A guy trying to impress a gal with the power and virility of his ride. It has been ever thus.

….and the horse you rode in on.

Can someone explain to me how that little man gets on that big horse? How doe he get his foot in the stirrup? AHHHHH!!! I think I got it. HE doesn’t ride the horse, SHE does. She’s mounting the horse from the window!!!!

Judging from the grass around the window, there’s not a lot of traffic these days….

Her heart was enraptured. Her stare / Took in deep, gentle eyes, rich brown hair / Her heart’s love barely knew / That outside of her view / There was also some guy standing there.

“Do I feel like riding Seabiscuit or Edward…?”

Elopement for the English horsey set was a bit more complicated. One never knew what kind of groom one was getting.

While Liz had repented her wanton escapade, she still found herself craving another romp in the stall with the chestnut stallion.

Mr. Johnson was starting to get bored with having to bring Flash over to visit with Miss Emily every afternoon. He didn’t see what Flash saw in that girl.

There. Now do you believe that I’m hung like a horse?

We’ll never sneak him in through the window, we’ll just have to use the front door, and then up to Dean Wormer’s office.

Seabiscuit and his wingman at a secret tryst.

Before the morning ride: 

https://commons.wikimedia.org/wiki/File:Samuel_Edmund_Waller_-_Before_the_morning_ride.jpg 

has info and links that point to more info about this painting. Other versions has strip coloration image.

Again, a larger strip image is shown by (⌘- or Ctrl-) clicking the image at 

http://thatispriceless.blogspot.com/2021/11/masterpiece-2822.html 

I have added a comment there (awaiting Mr. Melcher’s approval) pointing to the artist info I used to point to here. First work by this artist used here.

“Is this the horse that ate the meat and outgassed all over Seinfeld?”

“Yes, and a kid’ll eat ivy, too. Wooden shoe?”

No Harold, I won’t go riding to the hay stack with again.

Not even the weirdest thing this McDonald’s window order-taker has seen.

“Do you want fries with that?”

“Dear, do you need a leg up?”

He turned, with his arrogant stare/- then uttered a cry of despair !/ For the lady agreed/ he WAS “hung like his steed”/ but someone had saddled his mare…

A good looking steed, I meant the horse.

“I’m trying to get this horse to urinate. Come on now, Nelly. Give piss a chance.”

Here’s a Riddle: “Two seen here are wed. / One of three is a true thoroughbred.” / The answer’s not easy. / A Hint: (if you’re queasy) / “One’s been ridden then given her head.”

By her window he stood, nonchalant, / with the hope they’d achieve a détente. / “You’ve put up with my whore; / she’s for sex, nothing more, / but I’ll give her up now, if you want!” /// She replied, “I don’t care, don’t be silly. / You can do what you want with your Willie. / Whores get money, of course; / your love goes to your horse. / You must choose either me or that filly!”

His child’s sanity fell off the brink. / “Horst” must love her, or poison she’ll drink. / To prevent her self-slaughter / he led Horst to his daughter, / but he just couldn’t make the horse wink.

I brought you over to see Emily, so why the long face?

“Are you the wheatgrass smoothie and soy latte?”

Please! YES! Take me anywhere! I’ve changed my dress and hairstyle; and he still hasn’t noticed me! He’s still reading his book!