Rubes by Leigh Rubin for November 27, 2021

So they got the flock out of there?

They’re on the lamb.

IG nightmares

Wagging their tales.

It’s not polite to peep, Bo.

Now she knows how the pastor feels.

It’s okay, Bo. Just trust the rhyme: "Leave them alone and they’ll come home.

They up and flocked off.

They might find themselves with Contrary Mary.

Mary had a little lamb

put it on the heater

every time he turned around

he burned his little peter!

.

Mary had a little lamb

fed it castor oil

everywhere that mary went

it fertilized the soil

.

Mary had a little lamb

the doctor fainted

.

Mary had a little lamb

you’ve heard this tale before

did you know she passed the plate

and had a little more?

.

Mary had a little lamb

when she saw it sicken

she sent it to chicago

and it came back labeled “chicken.”

.

mary had a little lamb

with coat as black as soot

and into mary’s cup of milk

it put its dirty foot

.

Mary had a little lamb

A little steak, a little ham

A little soda topped with fizz

Now look how sick Mary is!

.

Humpty Dumpty sat on a wall,

Hickory Dickory Doc.

Mary had a little lamb,

The doctor died of shock!

.

Mary had a little lamb

She also had a duck

She put them on the windowsill

To see if they would fu-fu-fall off.

They like their wool winter coats and are tired of the cult haircuts every spring.

It just struck me how strange Bo Peep is for a young lady… kinda like Bambi for a male deer.

They went and followed the man that can walk on water I guess

I hope they don’t get fleeced by some charlatan.

There ewe go!