Pearls Before Swine by Stephan Pastis for February 04, 2022

Use a Magic 8 Ball — they are more accurate.

Maybe they is salt crystals on bacon or pork.

Billy Crystal

at least it’s not — dare I say it? —methamphetamines

Are they bringing back Crystal Pepsi?

Pig, today has its own troubles, don’t try to see the future…

Pig crushed by a chandelier? That would be a misfortune.

And I thought life for Pig wouldn’t be no crystal stair!

More likely he’s about to be hit in the eye with a crystal ball.

Tommy James’ “Crystal Blue Persuasion”? !

Maybe he should use a golden ball

Why couldn’t the fortune teller have children? Because her husband had crystal balls…

Oooooo… his future is crystal clear. That’s more than most of us can say.

Just leave it be and go have a ball, Pig!

Doesn’t news and social media tell us what to do next?

But Crystal is cute and nice, I dated her in high school.

Is this the Crystal Method? (Great music, by the way).

I worked on a project restoring 2 crystal ballroom chandeliers. They’re quite heavy. Steel frame covered with gold leaf, loads of glass crystals and a crystal ball hanging from the bottom. Both are hung with steel cable attached to a winch…

Oh no, not Crystal! She’ll crush you.

I think your future will be as a ham sandwich

If Pastis can make a pun out of it, it’s likely.

Since Stephan ’ loves’ grammar Nazis from Pa, the correct phrase is ‘Try TO do’ something. My work here is done. I’ll go quietly now.

I’d recommend a Magic 8 Ball.

When the new wears off my crystal Chandelier, Thank you Charlie Pride.

He doesn’t see his reflection? Scooby and Shaggy did it better

I read a story about someone who bought a crystal ball at an antique store, and the shop owner warned him to keep it covered with a cloth. The buyer said something snarky about seeing the future or monsters coming through. No, sunlight through it can cause a fire. I once saw a glove start to smolder when sunlight was pouring through a glass bottle full of water so I can readily believe it.

Reality never was handed out to PIG and RAT! They slept in that morning!

Sooo his future is crystal clear.

8/10

Why does he need help? Pig’s answer makes perfect sense to me.

Allow me to gaze into my magic trinket

That’s just a bowl of water!

So go ahead and trinket.

Funny, that’s the same thing Walter White saw.

Yeah, I’ll believe this when pigs can scry.

Pig probably would not enjoy seeing “The Phantom of the Opera”.

Life is like a toy balloon

You start it out by reaching for the moon

You huff,you puff,you think you’ve won the race

Then….BOOM!!

The Whole thing blows up in your face!

ROCK BOTTOM

A lot goes into using a crystal ball despite what you may see the fakes doing. Which is why I don’t use one.

Maybe Pig’s future is not what it used to be.

That;s a shame. Crystal is a pretty girl but her sister is even prettier.

You didn’t roast Pig for “to try and”? You’re slipping, Rat.

Another episode of Pig taking things literally.

True story: My parents were friends with a couple with the last name of ‘Lear’. This couple had a daughter (if still alive, she’d be about my age)-first name Crystal, middle name Shonda……

Pig is very literal-minded. But that’s not all bad….

so it’s…crystal clear!

“What do you see in this Rorschach test?” “Ummm… an ink blot?”

Wi fi must be down..