Last Kiss by John Lustig for January 26, 2022

I got bored with adding a year to my age every year, so I started an inch to my height instead. Worked pretty good at first, but when I got up to 6 foot 8, I started getting funny looks. How about adding an inch someplace else, darlin’?

Ah the old ignore your birthday and hide your real age trick.

Many happy returns, JL. But at 69 it’s time to stop describing yourself as “late middle age”.

Your only as old as you feel , Looks like you would feel pretty good to me !

So you’re going to pass on birthday sex?

Just a minute! I have to step out and get another box of candles for the cake.

Pro Tip = Lie about your age, tell people you’re much older than you are.

If you’re 50 and tell people you’re 65 you’ll get a ton of compliments about how young and strong you look!

career girl romances is a great title for a magazine…

Mind over matter. You don’t mind? Then it don’t matter. Plain & simple.

It’s comin regardless, sweetie! No use in fretting….

Too bad…she used to jump out of a cake.

Happy Birthday, John!

Perfect comic – It’s my birthday TOO! (…and no I’m not telling what YEAR!)

Happy Birthday Mr. Lustig. I’ll be hitting 70 this year and not hiding anything.

….until tonight when Bill is in my bed that’s when it is happening!

I’m proud of my grey hairs, some of them I earned the hard way. . . .

Did that for my wife’s 50th. We even got together with her brother and his daughters in the Black Hills, and brought a cake for his 48th, but no mention was made of hers.

Had but didn’t an execute an idea for her 40th – conspire with her workmates to act as if it were Wednesday the 26th instead of Tuesday the 25th.

At 60 she finally embraced her age and celebrated at Disneyland.

Pretend I gave you a Birthday present.

“Will darling. Halloween was months ago and yet I still catch you wearing my clothes. Is there something we need to discuss?”

“Uh…I’m Will’s twin sister you never knew about… I’ve fallen on hard times and I sneak in here for fresh clothes and food? I’m…Will_hamina. Yeah. That’s the ticket!”

“What a remarkable resemblance!”

“Really? You bought that? Well then – you’ll be seeing a lot more of me!”

I’m going to celebrate my birthday by asking Commander Straker if I can return to Earth early.

“But you look pretty good for 77 years old. Those pills really do work for you. Too bad they make your eyes purple.”

Every birthday I tell anyone that asks that I’m halfway to my ’best by" date.

Gracie Allen, of the Burns & Allen comedy husband & wife, always claimed that she was born in 1908, and not 1898. She swore that if the San Francisco Hall of Records had not burned down in a fire during the 1906 earthquake, she could prove it!!!

Every Happy Birthday should have a happy ending

I don’t celebrate birthdays either. I celebrate riding around the sun one more time.

I’ve never gotten the “ignore my birthday” crowd…I enjoy the heck out of mine!

If it isn’t observed, it may or may not have happened.

She’s using Schrodinger’s application of the uncertainty principle to stay young — or maybe young. Nobody knows until the box is opened.

(Get your minds out of my gutter!)

I don’t celebrate my birthday. I celebtrate the birthdays of Nigella Lawson, and the late great Malcolm Young.