That is Priceless by Steve Melcher for January 26, 2022

Tesla never realized that his maid was on Edison’s payroll.

/// Brigid ought to be dusting the manse,

not engrossed by a pulpy romance.

She bumps into the table,

tips one urn that’s unstable;

as it topples, she looks on askance.

/// The urn opens and spills ashy grains.

(They’re the master’s late mother’s remains.)

Brigid sweeps the dust up,

scoops it into a cup,

and then scrubs out the rug’s sooty stains.

Clara is not the first maid to find her employer’s written confession on how his murdered parents wound up in those jars. Now he will have to find another maid.

madame Curie working her way through school as a maid found time to study when she could!

/// The new house maid felt need of a primer,

but the handbook she found was much grimmer

in domestic detail—

it was called “Handmaid’s Tale.”

(She was clueless because she’s a “skimmer.”)

She’s Irish a much Maligned breed

But I hope you’re prepared to concede

That her charms transcend race:

She’d be cute anyplace..

Pretty women are better than weed.

“So he thinks their perky. The little devil. Tonight I shall stand on a chair to adjust the gaslight.”

I’mLying Abed I write In the darkest hour of the night With a weakness of hand You could not understand For the IPad puts up quite a fight..

I require an escort to peeAnd I’m thinking “this just isn’t me…”But it is.- that’s the truth I ve outlasted my youth Eighty two won’t be easy on m e..

My.Well meaing colleagues on line

Consistently say “you’ll be fine “

And I fully intend

As I inch toward the end

To arrest my ongoing decline….

But I fear I am going to find

That it’s terribly hard to rewind.

There no use bewailing

When the body is failing

I’m reduced to the life of the mind…

Looks like a three doggerel night! LOLOLOL

The inspiration for “Lil Sweet”. Now, they just have to invent Dr. Pepper.

All through school, Constance was told that her job prospects depended on her being pliant, obedient and pretty, and that nobody wanted a smart girl for their ‘hired help’ but she just could no longer contain her intellectual curiosity.

“Ah, here it is Lilliputian Exterminator.”

abigail proofreads her screenplay for the next iron man installment…

Ah, the Nanny Canvass.

Let’s see… I’m sure “The New Ladies Maid Guide for Good Scrubbing” have a chapter on the best way to remove these d… kid doddles on Milady ’s favorite white vase.

Reminiscent of a Vermeer painting!

So you really want to marry me?" she asked.

He hesitated and then looked at her sideways, while she looked straight ahead of her. She had fat, red cheeks, a full bust beneath her cotton jacket; thick, red lips; and her neck, which was almost bare, was covered with small beads of perspiration. He felt a fresh access of desire, and, putting his lips to her ear, he murmured: “Yes, of course I do.”

Then she threw her arms round his neck and kissed him till they were both out of breath. From that moment the eternal story of love began between them. They plagued one another in corners; they met in the moonlight beside the haystack and gave each other bruises on the legs, under the table, with their heavy nailed boots.

That’s all the time I have for reading, today…

Aha! The secret ingredient in her egg salad is paprika!

The recipe book she perused / Did little to keep her amused / No salt in the stew / Makes eaters say “Ew!” / A pity to see food abused.

Title of book: Dusting 101.

Good thing Billy is a fast painter and Connie is a slow reader.

I must find that special recipe for cordon bleu Eric loves…after which he will love me.

The lord of the manor having specified flaming filet of yak for his guests this evening, ak quick scan of the recipe book was required.

“Dusting for Dummies.”

I know that somewhere in here is the recipe for urn soup..

“Marie Kondo writes that I should get rid of crap I don’t love so that’ll be my defense if they ever test the ashes in these urns for the presence of arsenic!”

The House Maid: 

https://commons.wikimedia.org/wiki/File:William_McGregor_Paxton,_The_House_Maid,_1910,_NGA_166466.jpg 

has info and links that point to more info about this roughly jumbo envelope size painting.

Again, a larger strip image is shown by (⌘- or Ctrl-) clicking the image at 

http://thatispriceless.blogspot.com/2022/01/masterpiece-2867_25.html 

I have added a comment there (awaiting Mr. Melcher’s approval) pointing to the artist info I used to point to here. So far, 7 works by this artist have been used here. 

https://www.gocomics.com/that-is-priceless/2021/06/04?comments=visible 

has the prior (the artist info URLs in my comment there are pointed to by here links in my blog comment).

“It says to twirl the duster over the dusty areas…Oh! I have to brush the dust off with the feathery bits! That’s what I was missing! Why does everything have to be so complicated?”

Her attempt to make homemade Vaseline showed she wasn’t the brightest bulb in the pack.

/// “I just read in this book something strange. It

says that things attract dust— you can’t change it.

Vacuum cleaning is best;

feather dust, if you’re pressed.

If you can’t suck it up, rearrange it.”

/// Having read each boxed card, now she’ll look

for fresh meal ideas found in this book.

She’ll need new recipes

if there’s any hope she’s

to move up from mere House Maid to Cook.

elvira, searching for code to bring back man she shrunk by mis reading witch book.

1922: Lord Carnarvon’s maid about to have a nasty surprise with his collection of canopic jars…

Here’s one for you. Thornton Wilder based play on a work by Johan Nepomuk Nestroy -the gll

Ah! The newest catalog for maid uniforms! Why … but why do the uniforms get shorter every year?

Keep your chinS up, Ish.