Frog Applause by Teresa Burritt for February 11, 2022

feghoot: A storyline ending in a pun. I suspect that Teresa made up feghooter.

“You’re under arrest,” said the policeman.

“But why?” he asked.

The policeman replied, “For transporting young gulls across sedate lions for immortal porpoises.”

There are two answers to the lady’s question:

First, she is drawn too well to appear in “Pearls Before Swine”.

Second, looks have got nothing to do with whether one is, or one is not, a Feghooter.

Through Time And Spctce With Ferdinand Feghoot: LXIV

In 2856, the Members of the newly formed Time-Travellers Club sent Ferdinand Feghoot off to investigate the hazards they might expect to encounter in the pursuit of their hobby.

*‘Now take care," warned Dame Electra MacClinch, the Club’s first Tem- porary President. “Try not to get lost, and be sure to get back here promptly next Thursday.”

The Members gave Feghoot three rousing cheers, and, stepping through the )( in the wall, he immediately vanished.

When he returned, after seventeen years, his reception was very much colder. Alerted by the time-shuttle’s signal, the Membership had assembled, and Dame Electra was regarding him with a frosty gray eye.

He was wearing a kilt, and he had Robert Burns with him. Each had an arm round a pretty but slightly over-ripe woman in the dress of the late 18th Century, and they had obviously been having a wonderful time.

Feghoot introduced the great poet; then with a chuckle he presented Nell Trott and Meg Lively.

“I have heard of t^ Burns person,” sniffed Dame Electra. “But what are these — creatures?”

“Hoot, lass — they’re famous!” laughed Ferdinand Feghoot. “Hae ye no hearrd o’ the pair o’ doxies of time travel?”

— Grendel Briarton (with thanks to Romina Grobis)

https://archive.org/details/Fantasy_Science_Fiction_v025n02_1963-08_PDF/page/n43/mode/2up

…if I say yes will you go to the A&P with me?…

…what did the zero say to the eight?…

…that belt looks good on you…

…why was the ten afraid of the seven?…

…seven ate nine…

…grandpa said to granny…

…why is it that when a dress looks very good on you I just want to take it off you?…

…magic, I guess, replied granny…

…what? Magic? He asked, Is that how you do it?…

…to which she replied…

…is that a trick question?…

Not in those shoes, no.

Nah, you’re a lot nicer looking than Stephan Pastis.

After writing a story line about creating dresses and drawing models in these dresses. Well hell let’s go get a breath of fresh air, inward drawn from a peacock hold on me.

Hmmm! Reference to Pastes’ strip is a hoot! Feghooter or not, puns rule!

No. What you look like is a very fetching model from the front of a dress pattern package. Been a connoisseur for a good many years.

I don’t give a hoot for your hooters, it’s your fegs that give me a case of the fegaries.

Ms. Verb rocks in a dancing pattern and sew machine Singer.

Yes, actually you do look like one.

I like the collage-y background.

Feghooty and the Blowfish.

Everybody’s doin’ the brand new dance now,

Come on baby … do the feghootin’ with me …!

Come on, come on, come on, come on ….

I feel the need, the need to self aggrandize. https://tinyurl.com/LameFanArt

I like shaggy dogs.

Foghorn Feghooter. I say, I say, boy. This chick reminds me of the Highway between Dallas and Fortworth. No curves.

You look like an illustration from a Simplicity pattern package.

Not really. You’re not Cartoon-Boy’s type! Sorry, oldie-time Model! You might try for a job in Mark Buford’s Scary Gary strip, though. You’re clearly enough more his type [see my earlier Reply to Randy B, above]….