Agnes by Tony Cochran for March 12, 2022

There once was a bean name of Lima. / They look like they’re covered with slime-a / Frozen or canned / I’m just not a fan / Cause they never can taste sublime-a

(With apologies to Joyce Kilmer)

I think that I have never seen

a sight more lovely than the bean

often known as ‘butter’

for me there is no ‘udder’

than the lovely lima bean.

The lima bean, also called “butter”.

Just the sight of one makes me mutter,

“Ugh! This tastes like a dead cow’s udder!!

Nothing else can make my stomach flutter!!"

There once was a Lima bean named Sydney Who married into the family of KidneyTheir string bean daughterEloped with an otterAnd their Navy bean son said don’t kid me

Sorry best I could do on short notice

there was a lovely young lass from perú

of canned tuna she hadn’t a clue

she said, lima is city

not a bean that tastes… gritty

and it’s LEEma, not LIEma, yahoo

Lima beans come from Lima, Ohio. Right?

I’ma not gonna do one about lima.

I love Trout! I relate to her on SOOOOO many levels!

There once was a girl from Nantucket… No, that’s not right, I’ll start again…

There once was a bean from Nantucket (Yes, a little better)…

Who thought that all this could just suck it.

He had an edema, ‘cause he wasn’t from Lima,

this last line is too hard, so just chuck it…

Agnes Nash—channelling the spirit of Ogden?

So Agnes is buying the GOOD tuna??

(Just joking. I like tuna nearly as much as sardines!!)

The quality of canned tuna has gone done a lot in recent years. Overfishing?

Lima beans, easy to mash

Lima beans, fry ’em like hash

Lima beans, best thrown in the trash

Lima Beans, the magical fruit, the more you eat, the more you …..

To the Lima Bean:

Yuck yuck yuck yuck yuck yuck yuck yuck

Yuck yuck yuck yuck yuck yuck yuck yuck

Yuck yuck yuck yuck yuck

Yuck yuck yuck yuck yuck

Yuck yuck yuck yuck yuck yuck yuck yuck

Aggie is far, far too kind to tuna. Almost as nasty as coconut!

There once was a bean called a lima

That moved lots of readers to rhyme-a

There’s one I could add

But, terribly sad

It seems I have run out of time-a

Actually, back in “the day” canned tuna was almost tasty – when packed in oil. Nowadays, it so “healthful” it’s almost like wood pulp…

Since she hates canned tuna, and since Trout planted Lima Beans in her head, I expect the rest of her “recipe poem” to go like this:

Use salmon, or mackeral,

Or even sardines.

But heed my advice:

Skip the Lima Beans.

And remember, you heard it here first! :)

I love lima beans! I had them for lunch, with lots of corn and lots of butter. The beans have to be well cooked though, nice and soft.

Tuna, on the other hand. Oh, my gosh, how can anyone eat anything that has such a horrible stench! If I am in the same room as tuna, I get sick to my stomach.

It tastes like tuna! Albacore is the best!!!