Pearls Before Swine by Stephan Pastis for April 16, 2022

The onesters are the ones who were willing to pay the price to get in front of the line.

I believe their names are Herman, Lily, Eddie, Grandpa, and Marylin.

And that was the Bad Joke of the Day; hope you enjoyed it.

The disabled are probably in there somewhere, dude.

Rat is in life’s Basic Economy. There is no room for carry on baggage.

I seem to recall hearing life is a highway.

The problem with flying with a flock of vultures is dealing with their carrion luggage.

They all get there at the same time, the only advantage is fighting through the previous passengers to get to your seat!

Like an airplane ride, life has it’s ups and downs, and frequent turbulence.

I think Boarding Group 1 is just first class. And I almost pity them. They get seats that are a little wider and food that’s a little better, but neither is nearly enough so to be worth writing home about. Their airport lounge is really nothing special either. And while they get to go to the head of the line, they take off and land at the same time as everyone else. And they paid through the nose for the privilege, or at least got someone else to do it for them.

Rat get’s the last row, where the seats do not recline.

I feel his pain. I fly standby, and frequently am the last to board, and almost all the space is occupied. That’s a direct result of airlines charging for checked bags, everyone tries to get all their stuff into carry ons.

The names of those guys are probably people who left you over the years.

Even if you are in Group One, you will not board first. People in wheelchairs are first. Then parents with children. Then Veterans. Then Platinum members of the airline. THEN first/business class. By that time, you’re almost last anyway….especially in Florida where there are always 12 people in wheelchairs.

I’m in boarding group 6, but they’re only boarding 5 groups.

Group w bench peeps rule

Don’t fly Kamikaze Airlines .

Those are the “one-stop” flyers who continue on the same plane, shifting to the better seats before group 1 through 30 are allowed to board

If life is like a plane ride, who is/are the pilot(s)?

Pastis ends the week on real downer.

The airlines could cut boarding time down by about 75% if they would do what makes sense and load from the back to the front. That’s the inverse process they use for deboarding and it works fine.

As long as you land at your destination safely, that’s all that counts…..

Key & Peele did a great bit on airplane boarding. Over the top funny.

Used to be my crippled wife and I.

I’m usually in Boarding Group 1. Right behind, those needing extra assistance, those traveling with small children, uniformed service members, platinum elite club members, and those holding first class tickets. In other words, the dead last group.

Boarding Group 6 is that group that always boards before Boarding Group 6 is called.

Up until about 2 years ago PBS was funny and one of my favorites. Now it’s just the same negativity toward society since the pandemic. I miss the variety of the crocs, and guard duck.

Am I the only one that actually prefers boarding last? It means that you’re not sitting as long. But I still manage to find overhead space.

if this is true then i’m always on standby.

Don’t know about anyone else, but I always try to be the last person on the plane anyway to minimize my time aboard. I only carry a backpack that can fit under my seat.

Sometimes I have had to chase people out of my seat because they wrongly assumed they could just take mine and that I would not argue about it.

As usual, it’s a big club and you ain’t in it.

Why, they are First-Class Citizens, of course, Rat. Whom did you expect, Privileged Elites?