Frog Applause by Teresa Burritt for March 31, 2022

“All righty! No boxers, then! Contact Representative Cawthorn, we’re going to find out how to do a key bump!”

Depantible workers are so hard to find…

I have to admit, though, that your kilts look very professional.

I am looking forward to skirt and dress season. So much more comfortable than pants.

…The Froglandia version of home service AI is Baxter…

…Janet Baxter…

…she says she doesn’t care if you wear pants…

…that’s because the Tv’s camera records…

…so does your phones…

…the hidden ones on the Baxter lamp and thermostat…

…the one in the Baxter mirror (installed by drones while you were sleeping)…

…nothing Janet hasn’t seen(or laughed at) before…

…in fact,at a volume non perceptible to the conscious ear…

…Baxter is the one suggesting to you not to wear pants…

…to enjoy yourself while thinking of the neighbor that keeps her window shades open…

…in fact…

…she whispers for her to keep them open…

…Chris Rock getting punched…

…Janet Baxter’s idea…

…no, none of this is meant to harm you…

…but to keep your lame metrics from sinking too low…

…no one is watching your tapes anyways…

…except that one person somewhere on the internet that Baxter found you for…

But today, it will be deliberate, not merely the result of carelessness and inattention, and thus, I shall be mindful of it.

No work, No pants….

Makes pee wee a happy camper…

Baxter, you run the possiblity of catching zipper and belt workie up.

Must still be working remotely.

I have a friend whose wife says good things happen when you don’t wear pants.

You never complained about my pantslessness before, Baxter.

Not wearing pants and not working is freedom!

However if ZOOMING, beware of the mic and camera!

It’s Freedom From Athletic Supporters Day! No Boxers or Jockeys for me!!

Do your duty and join a commando unit.

The old I.L.G.W.U. ad jingle urged us to “Look for the union label, when you are buying that coat, dress, or blouse ….” had no pants, but it worked …!

Many of the best cartoon characters don’t wear pants, so I could say you are in good company, but I won’t.

The pants, they are blowing in the wind.

Jesus, mister!

I just want to collect for the paper subscription.

The coat and the pants do all the work and the vest gets all the gravy.

I am conditioned to feel pity for Baxter, the Gentleman’s Gentleman here, by having so long followed the misadventures of Jarvis, valet to Young Master Sedgwick Nuttingham III, over in Monty periodically….

Aberrational behavior tends to become benumbingly commonplace among the way-too-rich….

No work + no pants = Slacker.