Gil Thorp by Henry Barajas and Rachel Merrill for May 07, 2022

“You, hiding from cameras. Me, indulging your paranoia. The readers out there, trying to make sense of it all. How long do we have to live like this?”

“How long do we have to live like this? Just until everyone decides that this story arc is totally stupid and stops reading it. So, next week.”

She’s also worried about getting recognized, so she changed shirt colors mid-conversation (from yesterday’s third panel).

Stay tuned for scenes from our next episode.

“C’mon, you known how relentless these people are! They must have a staff of five hundred that spends every day analyzing every podunk newspaper in America, scanning pictures of the crowds at junior high and high school games, trying to decide if a grainy 7×7 pixel image might be my face… Indulge my paranoia a little longer.”

In a surprising move it will be revealed he is actually the grand-nephew of the late Prince Phillip and, therefore, sort of a shirt-tail royal. And he’s trying to keep it hidden because of how insane Americans get over royals. Not that Americans have a copyright on crazy.

In all reality , Don’t you realize just how ruthless these cartel thugs are ? Look what happened to Mimi Thorp and the girls softball team , GONE ! No trace , want that to happen to me ?

He’s really talking about us snarkers

He’s: a) the driver of “the van” from the Mini Mart; b) the one who broke your heart; c) the last Romanov, the man who put the Ram in the Ram a Lam a Ding Dong; d) Waldo

P3- Saturday double play with EES and bearded chin bob. If this is Milford Masterpiece Theater, a Quinn Martin Production, tonight’s episode would be “Hamm on the Lamm.”

The catcher said he played with Gregg since 6th grade, so they can’t have moved around. Since no one knows where Milford is, you are probably safe. Snarkers have been looking for years without finding it.

Is the Hammmm Burglar evading Nazi hunters?

Panel-3: more than one wine.

“I told you not to talk to that sexy lady on the phone, the one who said she’d been trying to get you. This is worse than that time Vito from Goshen sold one of your kidneys to pay your tab! This time you’ve unleashed the CAR WARRANTY RENEWAL demons, you moron! They are unrelenting! Phone! Computer! Mail! You’ve ruined Greggg’s eyes having him read all that damn fine print! I hate you. More wine!”

Uh oh, the Hammmm Burglar is playing the “these people” card. Things are about to get uglier. You don’t think “these people” are from Goshen, do you?

P2: Delmore Schwartz, poet: “Even paranoids have real enemies.”

Hey, Just because I’m paranoid, doesn’t mean they’re really not out to get me. Remember Mel Gibson/Julia Roberts ’The Conspiracy Theory".

Missus Hamm now into her third blouse of a different color. And how does she do it in broad daylight…… with a glass of wine in her hand !

Does Charissss take quick change tips and pointers from Mammmma Hammm, or vice versa? Are they two quick change artist kindred spirits, with some relevant purpose to the plot? Is it just Thorp-like inattention to detail and new low levels of shoddy colorist effort on display?

Nice loving supportive wife we have here. Just what he needs a shrill fishwife.

Okay, just who are the relentless people that are after him? And I’ll say it again, they are NOT in the Witness Protection Program since that has been implied by one of the Hardy Boys this week, and with it being so early, it’s a big fakeout.

Is it Vitoooo from Goshen? Has Mr. Hammmm been betting through Pranitttt and losing big? Is it the paparazzi, because he’s someone that did something famous and wants to hide out now? Or he did something pretty bad and the press is trying to find him cause people hate him? My guess is he’s being hounded by groupies, because you know how all the women just swoon for ghost writers!

And speaking of swooning, you just might swoon when you read today’s issue of Mopped Up Thorp. Well you might if you are really really really weird.

https://moppedupthorp.wordpress.com/

Mr. Hamm must be deep undercover for the Loofah Abuse club

Yeah, Publishers Clearing House just doesn’t let up…