Wizard of Id by Parker and Hart for May 07, 2022

That’s harsh, it’s already a widow

To me, that red hour glass says don’t come near me or else.

I thought the hour glass was on the abdomen. Better check Google.

What will you do if you see a spider that big? Call the fire department?

Gonna need a bigger can of Raid.

Blanch should have called Garfield. The spider would been squashed by the 3rd panel.

red backs aren’t usually that big – fairly small but give a nasty poison. Can make you very sick for a few days (average adult). Very common in some places down under – was up in the roof space and found a few hundred of them! And there were some biggies amongst them. Not quite 9 inches – but big enough to take notice of

how many inches in a foot? or … foot in the inches?

Pretty much every spider I’ve ever seen has had an 8-foot legspan.

And this children is why fire was invented…..

I’m only afraid of spiders that are too big – which in my case means any that are big enough for me to be seen….

Just send the spider to France. Where it can have French Flies for dinner.

Looks like it’s curtains for poor spidey!

Some help you are, Wiz!

Wiz shouldn’t criticize his wife for thinking 9 inches is a foot. He ought to feel fortunate she doesn’t know the difference.

It rounds up to a foot, Wiz. Kill it before it bites. I’ve heard that black widow bites are no joke.

I don’t think so. One of these in the back yard and your squirrel and chip monk problems are over. Danger can be protection as long as you know where it is.

EW! Heebeejeebees

Did you know? King Kong was only 3 feet 6 inches tall. He only came up to Faye Wray’s belly button! Wow! Don’t kill that spider, he could be the next Hollywood star.

Don’t like spiders. Nope, not at all.

I like his wife’s penchant for estimating the length of things!

spider’s lives matter too

While the scale of the spider to the ruler is accurate, that makes Wiz a little over 2 feet tall!

My parents were so argumentative. On a home visit, they took me out to dinner, which involved what seemed like an endless car ride. At one point, they were arguing over whether the curb that my father did not hit was half-a-foot or six inches high. (I wish I were kidding.)

I thought the hourglass was on the belly of the spider.

Black Widow. You kill it Blanche.

Before she kills you!

In Id, Black Widow finds you.

Pretty sure her mistake in determining “3 inches times 3” and “4 inches times 3” is all your doing, Wiz.

If that’s a baby spider, mama Shelob may be nearby with auntie Ungoliant!

OoOoOoOh, that looks scary! I appreciate what spiders do, but I’m afraid of them. Yesterday I killed a large, black furry spider on the wall.

“…as soon as it grows three more inches.”

Wiz, that’s a black widow. Even I don’t allow those in my house.

Yeah, you wouldn’t the Black Widow sharing any marriage secrets with Blanche…

Black widows are fatal, so Wiz could use his magic to zap it.

Killing it seems unnecessary.

Looks like an Australian Redback Spider. They love to live in showers and under toilet seats. They won’t kill you, but the bite is very very painful. Mind you, at 9 inches, they probably have a bit more poison, so…..don’t kill it, capture it and take it outside to roam….or kill it because it is an invasive species in the Kingdom of ID.

Think of the mess! Better relocate it instead