Frank and Ernest by Thaves for May 20, 2022

Memory triggered! They say everything is bigger in Texas, and the natives take great pride in sheer size. One rancher was bragging on his spread: “Why, I can get in my truck at the crack of dawn and it takes me till past noon to reach the far side of it.”

“Yup,” remarked his listener, “I had me a truck like that once, too.”

The secret of life is to weld them all shut, like the Duke boys did.

Coulda used some zip ties back in the 1950"s. Would looked ‘cooler’ than rope to hold ’em shut.

Remember the Yugo?

I used to have a job like that. I sold flower seeds door-to-door.

Me, too. But it made opening the door for my dates so much easier.

Graham Bell was a little more somber : “When one door closes, another one opens, but we so often look so long and so regretfully upon the closed door, that we do not see the ones which open for us.”

and it’s called a revolving door…. you have been enlightened… now get back to work…!

It’s called a sallyport, prison entrance.

I had a car that I held the door closed with a bungee cord. Then there was the door that broke off…

I don’t remember any car doors like that, but my older brother had a ’57 Olds coupe that if you closed the passenger door too hard, its window would drop completely open.

I have an old house like that.

In the 1960s, Volkswagen used to claim that its cars were so well constructed as to be airtight: “It helps to open a window, to close the door.”

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=L6bJnKqPgeI

Back in what I like to think of as a Bohemian phase early in marriage we had a car die on us and had to make and emergency purchase — cash (credit?? What credit?) We got a car whose driver’s side seat catch didn’t always work so you so find yourself suddenly staring at the ceiling of the car if you weren’t careful. It also had a gas tank whose interior was dissolving into the gas and occasionally plugging the gas line. So you let the car drift to the side of the road, turn off the ignition ( for safety), raise the hood and blow down the fuel line to clear it. These are the lessons you learn when you’re young — the ones you NEVER want to repeat.