The Argyle Sweater by Scott Hilburn for May 26, 2022

She’s looking drawn to me.

Oh no, dear. It hides your most glaring flaw. (as he runs away cackling at his clever retort).

Half a dozen responses that would be perfect for Last Kiss come immediately to mind….

How appropriate that they’re in the fitting room. If he says the wrong thing, …

She is going to stick it to you, dont answer!

Of course not honey, you have a stick figure.

Answer with due caution!!!

Be careful, she does have an eraser!

If you weren’t so modest you’d forget the triangle and go in the buff like me. After all, stick figures have no private parts. Would be interesting though.

I love wide hips.

Impressive thigh gap, my dear.

He’s hoping that his reply will skirt the issue.

“No, Dear, it looks very acute!”

Danger! Danger! Danger!

The triangle is shaped like a dress for a stick figure.

He needs to come up with a Fitting response.

Idk, I’m a bit sketchy …..

he looks like he’s feeling acutely uncomfortable…

No, not fat. Just broad…

(Cards and flowers may be sent care of Metro Hospital…)

No, your fat makes you look fat

Not, it looks just Right.

Thankfully, my wife has never asked me that, even when in sweats.

I’ve learned to always say, Yes. Then determine what she needs. "Yes Dear. "

He needs to be careful. He could be drawn and quartered.

Cue Admiral Ackbar: It’s a trap!

IT’S A TRAP!! DON’T ANSWER THAT!!!!

Husband: Does my head make me look like a sucker?

Stick with what already works for you. :)

Maybe if you used a number 2 pencil?

No, your angles add up to a perfect 180 degrees.

Uh, no, it just makes you look like you’re wearing a skirt.

He should be complementary.

Wow, that makes it easy. Being a poorly drawn stick figure has it’s advantages. A guy could get used to that.

DON’T GO THERE!