That is Priceless by Steve Melcher for May 31, 2022

“Mr. President, you will have to get more chairs if you want to hold cabinet meetings in this room.”

/// Suspect stories spun by Parson Weems

were some fables concocted from dreams.

This we’ve heard, but a guy

who had witnessed the “lie,”

testified all is not what it seems.

/// Confessed George, “I cannot tell a lie.

Father’s tree was chopped down… it was I.

We’d been told cherry wood,

dried and aged, is quite good

to be carved into teeth, and that’s why.”

Sir, this is the only round table I was able to find in all of Washington. I think we should just scrap the ‘knights’ thing.

Washington was regretting his open door policy, as yet another under-secretary came in to ask his advice on something that he REALLY should have been able to handle by himself.

“No, I don’t like all this gray. I think we should build a house with more color.”

This is a great book deal, George.We’re looking for a personal memoir preceded by some teaser short stories to generate interest. Martha told us about a cherry tree incident in your youth that would has human interest potential.

Yes, I chopped down the cherry tree. It made a mighty fine table.

Mr President, the Orkin report came in…the pain in your mouth is not cavities, it is termites!

If you run for President, we’ll put your face on the $1 bill. Sorry, that’s the best we can do. Lincoln is already on the $5 bill and Hamilton’s on the $10 bill.

Who’s Lincoln?

/// At Mount Vernon he’s here to announce

that the Congress had finished the counts

for the POTUS election.

The electors’ selection:

Washington won the greater amounts.

Mr. President. I know it was an arduous task to keep the military together during the long punishing war. But Sir, there are still some who prefer bowing to a King. Do you think we should still let them vote?

“Hmmm. I’ll just blame my predecessor.”

“I know your news is important, but I just can’t take my eyes off that lovely grey skirt.”

And there is a rumor you pushed over the Senate outhouse.

Once upon a time, there was a man who had three sons. He gathered his sons together and asked them, “My sons, who pushed the outhouse into the river?” And his sons stepped forward one at a time and each one said, “Father, I did not do it.” And their father said to them, "My sons, once upon a time, there was a famous man named George Washington. And when George Washington was young, he chopped down one of his father’s cherry trees. But when his father asked him, ‘Did you chop down the cherry tree?’, young George did not lie. He said, “My father, I cannot tell a lie. I chopped down the cherry tree.” And because his son was honest, George’s father did not punish him. Now I must ask you again, my sons, who pushed the outhouse into the river?" Again, his first son stepped forward and said, “My father, I understand the story you have told us. I will not tell a lie. I did not push the outhouse into the river.” And his second son stepped forward, and said, “My father, I too have heard the story and understood it. But, my father, I did not push the outhouse into the river.” Then the third son stepped forward and said, "My father, I have heard your story about George Washington, and I cannot tell a lie. I pushed the outhouse into the river. " His father began beating him unmercifully. “Father! Why are you beating me? Like George Washington, I told the truth!” And his father said to him, “George Washington’s father was not in the cherry tree when George chopped it down!”

The cherry tree was imposing Nazi rule on all the apple trees in the orchard. What else could he do?

“George, how come mah dog don’t bark when you comes ‘roun’ ?”

But Sir, this flier says there’s a food cart court opening today down at Washington Square! All the lads want is a few extra minutes on their lunch break in case there is a long line.

Yes sir, the pig tail is in fashion, but may I recommend you try a man bun.

After reading the comments, I think I understand why Washington declined to stay in office for another term.

Sir, in order for this country to succeed, nay to simply survive, you must sign this proclamation to make it official that “He who smelt it dealt it”

Mr. President, the White House chef wants to know if he can serve cherry pie fordessert?

“DECIDE ALREADY GEORGE! WHICH ONE OF US GETS TO SIT IN THE CHAIR!?!”

Oh, so this is what inspired Tears for Fears to name their album “Songs from the Big Chair”.

This is the best table style we have for sale. This model is made from oak, but we can also do it in maple, mahogany, or cherry (wink, wink, nudge, nudge.)

Members of the Mt. Vernon HOA presenting Washington with a list of complaints against him and infractions on his plantation.

“And, anyway, cherry trees cause pollution. Everybody know that.”

“Sign zee paper old man!”

Cut down in its pie-me.

Thompson, the Clerk of Congress, announcing to Washington, at Mount Vernon, his election to the presidency: 

https://commons.wikimedia.org/wiki/File:Howard_Pyle_-_Thompson,.jpg 

has info and links that point to more info about this roughly jumbo envelope size painting.

Again, a larger strip image is shown by (Ctrl- or right-) clicking the image in Mr. Melcher’s MASTERPIECE #2934 (May 31, 2022) blog entry, accessible by the Check out the blog! box after the last comment, and using the dropdown menu (even larger if you trim what’s after .png from the URL). I have added a comment there (awaiting Mr. Melcher’s approval) pointing to info about this artist. First work by him used here.

Oh yea! we will see who is bigger, lay your’s out on the table and i’ll do the same, and we can measure, Martha bring the yard stick.

“Each of the other contenders have been eliminated, and their chairs have been taken away. When the music starts again we two circle the table, and when it stops, the one who sits in the last chair gets to be President.”

Rachel Maddow is truthful, better try Fox News.

Sir, I think you should sit down before I tell you what I have to say.

Do you like it? $10 at Goodwill!

only on mondays, unfortunately.