Gil Thorp by Henry Barajas and Rachel Merrill for June 16, 2022

Gil does but keeps getting references to Major Hofstetter on Hogan’s Heroes.

Assuming they are in witness protection, I don’t understand why these clowns are blabbering about the situation. Exposing the family is a bit reckless.

Clever move to change the name from Hamstetter to Hammm—no one would ever be able to figure that one out!

Kaz is getting in on the new trend of having your IQ score on your coffee mug.

Whelp, Mason Helmstetter Associates of Hasbrouck Heights, NJ is going to be wondering why the hell they’re getting by so many organic page views today…

Dr Pearl , in all reality , I’d like to make an all school announcement that Greg Hammsandwich is not in the Witness Protection Program . Ok Gil here’s my mike !

SHE’s tired of this?

P3 Gillll goes to his trusty COW of a laptop to tap some keys , pretending to care about the conversation with Mammmma Hammmm and the information she offered, as he immediately puts it out of his mind and invites Kaz to review and break down postgame loofah drill tape

P4 “I dunno Gillll, try spelling it H-A-M-S-T-E-T-T-T-T-E-R?”

Like the readers, she’s so sick of this story, that she has tears in her eyes too

This storyline is wheezing to the finish line like Brent Raptor trying to run sprints.

I’m beginning to think they’re in the Witless Protection Program and they just want out of this ridiculous storyline.

P4: Gil: I have no idea what’s she’s talking about

P4: Gil turns to low IQ Kaz and says, “Gee Bob, I wonder what this Google thing they’re talking about is?”

P3: which is exactly what Gil does… using the library’s microfiche machine which has a surprisingly thin monitor.

P-4: See, Kaz. She was telling the truth. The screen says: No Record.

P-2: Well, we get to be the first viewers of the newest thing in Bifocals. The close reading bottoms are for looking straight down, only.

Mason Hamstetter: Wanted for aggravated assault on Readers’ reason, 2,871 counts.

So all it takes to rattle her into squealing on her husband is one intrusive phone call from Gil?

I’m still upset from 4 days ago when Gil overruled the umpire and left the beanballer in the game. Then they left out the rest of that story: https://www.washingtonpost.com/sports/2022/06/15/coach-allegedly-broke-an-umps-jaw-two-youth-leagues-take-stock/

Mrs. Hammmm has the same thin glasses as Gregggg. Is she going blind too?

I know Gillll and Kazzzz have been coaching for a long time, but I’m still surprised to see that Kazzzz has an “80 Years Young” coffee mug.

Hmm, Mason Hamstetter is a real estate appraisal business in New Jersey. Oh, I got it. Mr. Hammmm was involved in the hiding of Jimmy Hoffa’s body way back when. Been on the run ever since!

And speaking of hiding, I’m not hiding the fact that today’s Mopped Up Thorp is online.

https://moppedupthorp.wordpress.com/

“We’re not running from the Mob. The reason that we try to avoid publicity is that we’re still in the Mob. And now that you know that, you should expect a visit really soon from Luca Brasi. Like Big Ken Brown, he’s someone who makes things happen.”

Dumbest phone call in recorded history.

Gil not afraid of looking dumb. Or asking the stupid question based on something a HS kid said.

I wonder if Gil’s laptop computer is a spoof of Gateway?

P2.5- “We’ve all learned how to change our hair and clothes in a matter of seconds just like I did again while talking to you.”

Whoever thought we’d be upset about a kid with (this is for Ellis) a “blinding” fastball?