Aunty Acid by Ged Backland for August 20, 2022

Been there, done that.

All that will happen is your boobs will get skinnier and droopier.

Sometimes I think that AIR is fattening. And I deeply suspect that WATER is, too! My metabolism must be just too darned efficient.

My water weight goes up and down. I have around 40 lbs. of it, and I can lose 20 of it in two weeks. It comes back more slowly. I wish it were gone, finally.

That is British currency, right?

Loose? I think you mean lose. Remember when cartoonists like Charles Schulz, Jim Davis, and others knew how to spell and use proper grammar?

There does not seem to be any correlation between what I eat and the number of calories I consume and weight gain or weight loss. Last week I ate a dinner with a huge pork chop plus half a personal cheese cake and lost two pound. Yesterday I mowed my lawn (the equivalent of waling 5 miles pushing a lawnmower up and down the hill) and ate modest meals. I gained a half pound.

Most of the time my weight goes up or down a pound every day. Lately I’ve done things like gain 4 pounds in 4 days or lose 2 and a half in a day. Obviously, it’s water.

That is not pretty!!

Aunty……PUT SOME CLOTHES ON!

But you have Aunty!!! Over and over and over…

Gravity is raising it’s ugly head again.

Something’s wrong with that scale, it should be pegged the other way.

Or she could LOSE ten pounds. Proofreader??

Being of a certain age where I can relate to Aunty, when I saw this, my memory cells started singing that old song, “Do your boobs hang low? Can you tie them in a knot? Can you tie them in a bow?” Sorry if this disturbs anyone; the older I get, the more outspoken I become…

i’ve found that just looking at food causes weight gains…

I resemble that remark.