That is Priceless by Steve Melcher for June 15, 2022

Family get togethers became awkward for Ellen after she slept with her husband’s brother.

Here is the caption Melcher wrote for this piece:

Andrew Loomis, American

“Heads, We Enjoy Mother’s Delicious Baked Ham. Tails, We Hit That Swingers Club I Found On Yelp,” 1942

“Oh my god; why did I choose this day to stop drinking?”

“Eureka ! I’ve found the legendary missing sock !”

“Here’s to our wives and lovers – may they never meet!”

Looks like they’re setting up a wife swap. I know that pink thing is a dress but it looks like a housecoat.

“Oh this? I do it for luck against trichinosis. Mom’s a terrible cook. That’s how dad died in ’84.”

/// Gail thought back to that dinner with Barry:

“Grandma’s ham, almost too hot to carry.

But she stood (next to Fred).

We all watched, (I in red),

as a coin flip chose whom Barry’d marry.”

/// “It spins in the air— Heads or Tails?

I smile, though my nerve nearly fails.

We wait for the choice.

Which one will rejoice?

Which name will he call… Fred’s or Gail’s?”

/// “It falls Tails, so the bride will be me!”

Freddy frowned, for he couldn’t agree.

Barry’s smile lit the room,

but their joy turned to gloom.

Grandma spoke: “No! Best two out of three.”

“Heads, we go home with our own wives. Tails, we swap.”

“Heads I win….Tails you lose!” (It’s amazing how many times I’ve gotten away with that.)

Behold! The idea lightbulb!

How they decided who took in their senile mother. The winner did not elect to receive.

Ah, the good old days, when men wore three piece suits to Sunday dinner with mom

Granny had lived through the Depression – she could immediately sense any loose change, like a hawk spotting a hare.

From Mr. Melcher’s website:

Andrew Loomis, American, 1942

“Heads, We Enjoy Mother’s Delicious Baked Ham. Tails, We Hit That Swingers Club I Found On Yelp,”

“THIS is what we have in the bank after last Monday!”

Bob and Carol and Alice and Ted /

two couples unhappily wed/

Have found a solution/

It’s called “substitution”:/

Each will go to the other’s’ bed.///

“Heads, I get the two of you. Tails, I get the old lady.”

Heads, I take your wife. Tails, I take my wife. Call it mom.

still toes-up, steve.

I notice that Wikipedia describes Loomis as an ‘illustrator’. When someone asked Maxfield Parrish what the difference was between an ‘illustrator’ and an ‘artist’, he replied, “Oh, about twenty thousand a year.”

You know that you’re supposed to cross your legs BEFORE you do that.

Heads I get the sisters and you have to bed the mother, tails you get the sisters.

Nice to see the rest of Leopold’s family (Scary Gary).

This is the type of poster that inspired Firesign Theatre. You know—“Shoes for Industry! Shoes for the Dead!”

Well, there’s still no caption, but nobody’s had to redo their comments. Better let well enough alone.

Mabel made a mental note: “That was supposed to be 2 tabs of LSD in the pre-dinner sangria, not 5.”

Shondra played along with the “Hey I got your kneecap trick”.

It looks like an old magazine ad for the latest kitchen gadget. It also looks like Aunt Bee bustling in, saying, “HERE we are.”

“Heads we eat Ma’s Made-with-Love meal; tails we get Little Caesars.”

He is such an idiot. We all know there is no wishbone in a ham.

“Look at my commission on the $4 million sale I made for ConHugeCo! Tonight we eat like kings!”

“Swingers’ Club”? It’ll be “tails” indeed once you’re there, regardless of the coin flip.

♬They come runnin’ just as fast as they can♬

♬’Cause every girl crazy ’bout a sharp-dressed man♬

Caption not there now. 9:00 PT

“Look what I got out of my nose.”

Man Flipping a Coin: 

Paste (including the quote marks) 

"Man Flipping a Coin" site:illustratedgallery.com 

(syntax supported by the Google, Bing, Yahoo, DuckDuckGo, and Yandex search engines) in the browser address bar (or search for it using one of those search engines) and choose the first link found, and if using Google, search for the text 1942, and click its MORE DETAILS for info about this oil on canvas illustration (other named search engines will take you directly there), provided it hasn’t been sold (I can’t put this on Wikimedia Commons due to copyright issues – the artist died in 1959).

Again, a larger strip image is shown by (Ctrl- or right-) clicking the image in Mr. Melcher’s MASTERPIECE #2943 (June 14, 2022) blog entry (has caption), accessible by the Check out the blog! box after the last comment, and using the dropdown menu (even larger if you trim what’s after .png from the URL). I have added a comment there (awaiting Mr. Melcher’s approval) pointing to info about this artist. First work by him used here.

Happy Germans going about their day circa 1941.

I’d rather be anywhere else……

Women from the days of yesteryear looked damn swell!

Mom says she’s in.

heads i win, anyone but grandma.

“Heads, We Enjoy Mother’s Delicious Baked Ham. Tails, We Hit That Swingers Club I Found On Yelp,” 1942

As she was reminiscing about her life, she realized that she left all men speechless … even Steve Melcher.

/// When a coin is flipped into the air

It’s assumed that the contest is fair.

Each side hopes to rejoice

when the binary choice

picks a “winner” from one of the pair.

/// But the loser may have cause to holler

and get heated up under the collar.

If the “flipper” betrayed

the mute promise he made—

with a palmed silver (two-headed) dollar.

“Heads we have Ma’s made-with-love meal, over which she slaved all day; Tails we have Little Caesar’s $5 special…”

Was Mrs Doubtfire hosting?