Ripley's Believe It or Not by Ripley’s Believe It or Not! for August 06, 2022

Jason’s eyes once had two million and one working parts as well as he had twenty-one foot high mushrooms. The latter sounds like you’d be in Super Mario Bros. video games.

Dude, lets partake in some of those monster shrooms! Party!!

Alice in Wonderland!

Covered?

A blind man walks into a bar with his seeing eye dog. Once he enters he picks up his dog and starts swinging him around.

The bartender yells and runs over to the man and says “Hey man what are you doing!?”

The blind man responds, “Oh nothing, I’m just looking around”.

How could they possibly come up with the mushroom size? Were some fossilized? That Believe it or not fact needs some support to be believed.

A great tragedy befalls Russia. At a Central Committee meeting dozens of high ranking officials were accidentally killed, poisoned with toxic mushrooms in their soup.

The investigation team arrives at the scene. It was horrific, some had scratched their throats deeply, other lay with foam at the mouth or bloodshot eyes.

But the investigation teams discovers something interesting. Three of the dead had gun shot wounds to their heads.

“What happened here, we thought this was a poisoning?”

“It was, but these three refused to eat their soup.”

Until next time.

Touching. The third topic.

A Kosher Italian funeral

A Jewish man was leaving a convenience store with his espresso when he noticed a most unusual Italian funeral procession approaching the nearby cemetery. A black hearse was followed by a second black hearse about 50 feet behind the first one. Behind the second hearse was a solitary Italian man walking a dog on a leash. Behind him, a short distance back, were about 200 men walking in single file.

The Jewish man couldn’t stand the curiosity. He respectfully approached the Italian man walking the dog and said: “I am so sorry for your loss, and this may be a bad time to disturb you, but I’ve never seen an Italian funeral like this. Whose funeral, is it?”

“My wife’s.”

’’What happened to her?"

“She yelled at me and my dog attacked and killed her.” She never fed him very well.

He inquired further, “But who is in the second hearse?”

“My mother-in-law. She came to help my wife and the dog turned on her and killed her also." She had COVID and always made him keep his distance, and wear a mask. That day she forgot.

It was a very poignant and touching moment of Jewish and Italian brotherhood. Silence passed between the two men.

The Jewish man then asked “Can I borrow the dog?”

The Italian man replied, “Get in line.”

Until next time.

Battle of the wits above. Well, half a battle anyway.

“I didn’t touch that money in the register, officer. You know, the ‘atoms repel each other thing’. So there. Ha!” “Yeah? Okay, and this billy club isn’t touching you either.” BONK-ITTY BONK BONK

Take care, may prolific mushroom gatherer Sunshine “Peacenik Brain Scramble Sunflower Buzzie-Head Peter Max Blacklight Poster Hippie” McNothoughts be with you, and gesundheit.

Giant ‘shrooms? Maybe Larson was wrong. Maybe that’s why dinosaurs went extinct. Too much of a good thing.

The human eye has two million working parts and scientists want us to believe they all ame together randomly—takes a huge jump of faith to believe that.

Was stuck in traffic for over an hour yesterday because the atoms of 2 cars tried to touch each other.

Some of those mushrooms were magic, go ask Alice.

So the mushroom planet in “Sonic the Hedgehog” (1 and 2) was actually ancient Earth?!

Nature is far more intelligent than AI and the creators of AI ever will be.

Vilna Alberta has a number of giant mushrooms, I am not sure how tall they are.

hmmm…atoms never touching each other gives more credence to the question: “is there an absolute zero”, that is to say numerically, we’re not talking about Brandon…

It was Friday afternoon and Ralph was worn out. Terrible week at work. He phoned his wife and told her that he was going drinking and not wait up for him. She said OK. After a few hours drinking, Ralph starts waking home. It was very dark and he hears a woman’s voice asking if he wanted to have a good time. He figured “What the heck. I’ve got twenty dollars.” So he and the lady sneak into the bushes for a little fun. A Cop saw them and shined his flashlight on them and asked Ralph what was he doing. Ralph said he was making love to his wife. The cop said “Sorry. I didn’t know she was your wife.” Ralph replied, “I didn’t either until you shined your light on her face.”

Giant mushrooms? I wonder how big was the hookah smoking caterpillar?

A woman awoke excitedly on Valentine’s Day and announced enthusiastically to her husband, “I just dreamed that you gave me a diamond necklace for Valentine’s Day! What do you think it means?” With certainty in his voice, the man said. “You’ll know tonight.” That evening the man came home with a small package and handed it to his wife. With anxious anticipation the woman quickly opened the package to find a book titled:

“The Meaning of Dreams.”

Memorial services will be held next Wednesday.

Teenagers will be glad to know they never really touch themselves

Yes, science confirms that atoms never touch. Just remember that when you’re breathing in oxygen. (former chemist)

How . . . touching.

Did they find mushroom skeletons from 400 million years ago?

So “Nala the Great” just made a joke here about raping women. So you guys are fine with that, right? You have no sense of chivalry whatsoever? No respect for women? No one denounced it but me. Now I have to look like a prude again. I’ve been asked to keep an eye on this stuff and NALA here is going way too far—and btw so did Chihal.

What part of “this is a family comic strip” do you guys not get?

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