Gil Thorp by Henry Barajas and Rachel Merrill for August 10, 2022

“It sounds more like me!”

Yeah, it doesn’t sound like Gil to get defensive. Gil gets offensive, and it always involves the Delaware Wing-T.

“Well hello there, Coach Thorp. My name is Luke, I’m the new coach at Valley Tech.”

“Whadaya mean, I’m flirting? Why I oughta…”

Sounds plausible.

… Marty Moon defending GilPa?

Shows you how low Hot Mouth Luke is. But will Marty now challenge both to face each other at his WDIG celebrity boxing match? Remember that once upon a time Gil finished second in the US Army boxing tournament. “Down goes Hernandez.”

Luke “Hernnadez” Martinez

“Chatting the bartender up?” It looks more like they’re auditioning for Dancing With The Stars. And did BHL throw that mini football at the back of GIl’s head in P2?

In all reality , Gil wakes up with a splitting headache when he hears Mimi say Gil wake up Your breakfast is ready. Remember Fall Football practice starts today and your fans and team are ready for some football .

P4 “However, I promise you that I will conduct my own personal investigation at that bar into the events of the evening, including a long, intense interview with the bartender in question.”

P1 It’s no surprise you drink alone BHL, between your surly demeanor and hair shedding all over the bar, we can see why you’re such a popular guy.

The force is not with Luke.

I’m surprised a school would hire a person like Luke Warm Hernandez. For a guy who piled up so many individual awards, humility is not his strong suit. So let’s enjoy this short summer episode and snark to our hearts content.

P3: Gil gave him such an earful, it drained all the colo(u)r of of both of them.

P-!: Having driven the other coaches away, I sat alone, friendless, with an empty glass.

P-2: Sherlock Clue: Sam Cooke-Everybody Loves to Cha Cha Cha

P-3: Luke’s lie is obvious when we see Gil’s normal size hand!

Wow, this new writer is full of confidence. I see he gave himself 8/10 for today’s work. And speaking of confidence, I have confidence that you want to read today’s Mopped Up Thorp.

https://moppedupthorp.wordpress.com/

Tomorrow, new coach gets called in by school administration and is fired for talking about promoting drinking in a public forum.

Tomorrow, BHHL (Big Hairy Hand Luke) replies to Marty with, “Well, Gil was drinking quite heavily while I sipped on my club soda…”

Just have to realize this is a completely new Gil 2.0. Tabula Rasa.

Ellisburkes makes an appearance in today’s Argyle Sweater:

https://www.gocomics.com/theargylesweater/2022/08/10?ct=v&cti=449713

Yo Henry, what part of “topical, teen-oriented issues” don’t you understand? Here’s a topical, teen-oriented issue for you: while you’re focusing on the lame-o problems of a bunch of olds, I’M STILL TRAPPED IN THE BACK OF A DAM MINIVAN!!!"

Apparently Luke doesn’t remember there were other people in the bar, who know Gil, probably like Gil, and will likely be happy to expose Luke as a liar. Everyone likes to take down a blowhard.