Pearls Before Swine by Stephan Pastis for August 29, 2022

The only thing that’s meant to work well under pressure is a toothpaste tube.

Should include that on your résumé and save yourself the trouble of having to in for the interview.

Pig is docked for telling the truth…

No appreciation for performance art. Probably would have hated the job anyway.

Hard to believe they didn’t hire him.

It’s the terror of knowing what this world is about

Watching some good friends screaming, ‘Let me out’

Pray tomorrow gets me higher, high

Pressure on people, people on streets

Apparently loud screaming under pressure isn’t what they’re looking for

I perform under presser horribly; I sound nothing like Freddie Mercury or David Bowie.

Pigs are known for squealing!

I don’t like screaming. It kind of hurts my throat.

I have found, over my career, that every office needs a designated screamer. It’s when you get a chorus of undesignated screamers going that things go south very, very quickly.

Where I worked, that would get you an executive position.

“Is the pressure due to understaffing or mismanagement?”

You gotta admire his honesty.

I always handled pressure well….but Pig seems to squeal the loudest..

If it weren’t for the last minute, hardly anything would get done.

Not quite loud enough, Pig.

Honesty it not always the best policy…..

That’s not what they meant, Pig.

He would not do well as a SCUBA diver.

I scream, he screams.

We all scream for eyes cream!

JUST screaming isn’t enough.It depends on WHAT you scream.

Perhaps his answer should have been, " I always act appropriately under pressure".

Must be the wrong job. If Pig would scream idioti… er, I mean Woke slogans…..

Pig still might have gotten the job if he didn’t give a demonstration.

He didn’t mean in the pressure cooker!

dum dum dum dum de dum dum.

Squealing like a…Oh, never mind!!

I had my times like that. I got past it.

That would be Rat’s line.

There are times and places for “the whole truth,” Pig. Your job interview is not one of them….

Honesty may be the best policy, but it’s easy to overdo.