Off the Mark by Mark Parisi for September 17, 2022

Leafy.

Greens.

Beets.

Tomatoes.

Quick Mart.

Spare grass.

It’s kind of creepy peeing green, to see your stream the color of the leaves…

What does asparagus have to do with restrooms?

GOOD ONE!

Looking for the restroom? Urine it!

Except in North Carolina where the doors have a sign under the gender symbol, “Birth Certificate required.”

My wife won’t let me go down to the State Capitol wearing a dress and using the men’s room. I think it’s because she doesn’t have pearls that go with my beard.

Or in the New Jersey State Capitol where rooms are named after counties.

Men, Women and in between Middlesex.

I finally confessed to my wife that I might have some urinary infection, as sometimes my urine had this real pungent smell… After she quit laughing, she said, “It’s the asparagus, you dummy!”

I’m glad now that I never cared for asparagus. I never knew this.

local produce store has a one person bathroom with a sign that says “Whatever, just wash your hands.”

https://cdn.acidcow.com/pics/20200802/1596379425_xs6qgtsu9y.jpg

When I was young, we ate asparagus because my dad worked nights at a garage, and while he didn’t like it, mom did. Then when he started teaching and was at home at night, we stopped having it. Okra was the only other thing I remember he didn’t like. But he would eat anything else. But I don’t remember peeing green or stinking up the bathroom, but that was 60 years ago.

A new gender?

Another stroke of genius hits @MarkParisi.

Casting asperge-sions on people?

For sure everyone in a public restroom knows who had asparagus for lunch/dinner! LOL

Subtle.

Asparagus: (Jan. 21 to Feb. 19)

Hahaha, so true. Smelled so horrible last time I ate them I don’t think I want to ever again. :p

Makes more sense than the idiots