That is Priceless by Steve Melcher for September 06, 2022

Mr. & Mrs. Wase of Woodstock, NY locked themselves in their house until the d@mn hippies with their rock ‘n’ roll music left.

“Oh dear, I think my robot husband froze again.”

Stanley, demonstrating his heroic pose as he bravely sailed his fishing boat to rescue the soldiers from Dunkirk.

They looked like an all-american couple, but secretly, Martha was a Chinese sleeper agent. The only thing that gave her away was her inability to be parted from her copy of Mao’s little red book.

Did the artist try to gyp the old couple by photographing a couple of store mannequins and claiming that it was their portrait?

It looks like Bellows was trying to do a crossover between American Gothic and Whistler’s Arrangement in Gray and Black.

She was proud to be a coal miner’s daughter.

It was a tradition. After Polly and Old Shep, when his cognitive dissonance became obvious, we had him stuffed and dressed up real ‘important-like’.

John Henry,wondering if undoing all those buttons is worth being late for his job down at the railroad.

“He acts as if I’m not there.”

She wanted to call him out on it, but the “first who smelt it, dealt it” rule was in effect.

And to think she once affectionately called him her “Limber Rick” —

.

The portrait’s of old Richard and Gracie

Although Richard now looks rather spacy

He was once very limber

And could shiver his timber

But his man mast’s now limper, less racy

.

To this Gracie had to adjust

Her marriage vows said that she must

But contained in that small red book,

If one could just sneak a look

Would reveal her extent of suppressed lust

.

Oh, the passages in that small diary

Were so shocking and overall fiery

That Gracie had its pages therein

With asbestos fibers glued in

Lest the book catch fire and burn entirely

The true life couple on which Fifty Shades of Gray was based.

Did the artist charge extra for painting in the small portrait of the person in the picture on the wall, I wonder?

Between their frequent bouts of sexual excess, Griselda liked to read to Cuthbert from “Lady Chatterley’s Lover”. It stimulated his “creativity”.

Stanley thinking…”I see dead people.”

It was almost time for their annual/

Sex act..(The man is an animal !)/

But they couldn’t recall/

What one does, after all../

So she had to get out the “manual”…

Ya big brute, you smell like fish.

Any relation to Gill Bellows?

Truly, this one reminds me of my grandparents’ house – everything in it was some shade of black or grey, including their clothing. (But outside, Granny had the most glorious beds of petunias, gladioli and snapdragons you ever did see.)

“Sex is for the sole purpose of having children!” “Well, we’ve had sex twice and we have two children, so there you are.”

/// Mrs. Wase had been taken aback;

Phillip died of a sudden attack.

But they’d paid Mr. Bellows,

(one of those painter fellows),

so she dressed for their portrait, in black.

/// She tried molding his muscles and skin

to resemble a more lifelike grin,

and positioned her man

upright, on the divan,

held still ‘til rigor mortis set in.

/// The reviews of the painting were mixed.

Phillip seems to be staring, transfixed.

While his wife looks perturbed,

(or profoundly disturbed),

as though both life and death she’s betwixt.

Yes Stanley sex was great when we were young and you were virile…Well, Matilda you know the mind is willing but the giddy up is gone!

Matilda and Stanley were afraid to move lest Polly would fly away.

Matilda would never tell, and of course, Stanley couldn’t talk, but the thought niggled in her mind that the parrot might open his big mouth to the cops.

/// All the parrot’s bright feathers were fluffed.

Mrs. Wase hated being rebuffed.

So the bird bravely bluffed,

lest, like Phill, she get snuffed

and then put on display freshly stuffed.

Smelled better, too.

Stanley Everhard never disappointed.

Stanley was dumbfounded when Matilda, having just finished a chapter in her Harlequin Romance, told him where she wanted him to put his mustache.

Mr. and Mrs. Phillip Wase: 

Paste (including the quote marks) 

"Category:Paintings by George Wesley Bellows" site=commons.wikimedia.org 

(syntax supported by the Google, Bing, Yahoo, DuckDuckGo, Ecosia, and Yandex search engines) in the browser address bar (or search for it using one of those search engines) and choose the first Category: found, and once there find the first Wase text string, and click its link for info and links that point to more info about this painting. Other versions has the strip coloration image.

Again, a larger strip image is shown by (Ctrl- or right-) clicking the image in Mr. Melcher’s MASTERPIECE #2989 (September 5, 2022) blog entry, accessible by the Check out the blog! box after the last comment, and using the dropdown menu (even larger if you trim what’s after .png from the URL). I have added a comment there (awaiting Mr. Melcher’s approval) pointing to info about this artist I used to point to here. So far, 2 works by this artist have been used here. The April 15, 2021, strip has the prior (the artist info URLs in my comment there are here links in my blog comment).

Polly want a cracker?

For the love of god, no! Somebody please open that window so this silent hell can end!

Now Sven, it says right here you’re supposed to take your clothes off first.

As long as the wick don’t melt in the act!

Martha didn’t like that Warner had a picture on the wall of his mistress who was still alive, but not for long!

“When I marry Mister Snow …” – Carousel

/// The red book in her lap would reveal

how to fashion mixed drinks with appeal

and a bartender’s skill.

She served; he drank his fill.

She had made him a Zombie. (For real!)

And the Dragoncat Award for Best LMAO goes to… Steve Melcher!

Oh, this title is hilarious!

Oh, my poor boy Norman! Are you going to do the same to me as you did your poppa when I go?