Non Sequitur by Wiley Miller for September 26, 2022

Cable news has never been " news ". It’s lots of things,, but news is not one of them

I don’t suppose there’ll be an in depth followup story.

With modern technology, he could add a chyron or news ticker to the bottom of the tombstone. He could give updates on how well he’s decaying.

“Film at 11:00….. or maybe not.”

This just in…

Epitaph for an aspiring escape artist: “Wait for it …..”

His is one of those ‘news’ broadcasts you can only do once, but what an impact!

looks more like a pod cast

This will be on Wolf Blitzers headstone

oooh, shocker. did the tombstone gave it away.

And when they lowered him into the ground, she held up a sign saying, “This just in…”

I watch ABC World News Tonight daily and they start EVERY broadcast with “breaking news as we come on the air”

“The Queen is dead!” was breaking news for about 10 days. After the first day, it should have just been “Yep, she’s still dead!”

That is a disturbingly shallow grave.

I always wanted to be a Fox News Analyst so I could hang out with those sexy reporters.

She’s still dead.

Well, he can anchor anything he wants now and I have a hanker’n for a pizza.

When reporting from the site of a disaster, the camera lens rarely moves off the reporters who stand in front of some kind of wreck and describe what they see around them. Now that’s journalism – 001. Got all kinds of drones and airborne visuals available but remain anchored to the one with the mike. Wasted space.

When news was news on NBC, the closing theme of the Huntley-Brinkley Report was the second movement of Beethoven’s Symphony #9 in D minor, Op. 125. That was the best part!

Film at 11.

Wouldn’t an anchor be better buried at sea?

Fake news!

Tucker Carlson with furrowed forehead, “But are you really?”

Breaking news! I am still alive!

This just in…

He wanted to host on Fox: I’m dead and it’s Biden, Obama, and Clinton’s fault

If he really was an anchorman, the headstone would only have weather and traffic, no news.

Is that you, Generalissimo Franco?

I dropped a peanut butter and fried banana sandwich into Elvis’ grave.I have good news…..

After 14 hours of airing, it’s still called ‘breaking news’. Oy !

Dethany Dendrobia will enjoy visiting this cemetery some day soon.