Speed Bump by Dave Coverly for October 11, 2022

Get another job!

“Maybe you should find a job where people’s lives don’t depend upon you.”

You mean you like them dead?

I’ve met this nurse

Actually, when we have visited the ER, I make it a point to thank the folks for being there and doing their best. And hope that, enjoyable as it’s been, we never meet again. They don’t laugh: It’s a REALLY OLD joke.

No problem, I’ll just bleed out quietly on the floor. Don’t mind me.

He ought to be waltzing.

Such a kidder, this one. In the end they all wind up in stitches.

“Sorry. I was trying to do a foxtrot.”

I love this!

“Waltzing? Lady, that was my best Charleston.”

“I would have Tangoed but it takes two. Care to join me?”

I have yet to hear of someone waltzing into an ER.

When she was a student nurse, my wife worked the emergency room as part of her training.

A man walked in stating that he had a gunshot wound. She asked him where he was shot. That’s when he took off his hat!

There are Mormons and Yehovas Witness, there are beggars of all kinds, taxcollectors or lawyers helping the injured to sue for compensation. But that is when you start complaining, isn’t it?

“Nurse, I have a critical overabundance of donuts. Can you help me?”

The drug reps aren’t complaining…

That’s your job lady!

“Okay … My neck … cha cha cha … It hurts … cha cha cha … I can’t … cha cha cha … turn head … cha cha cha … sideways … cha cha cha …

This IS the ER isn’t it?

My wife is a midwife. No matter my ailment, her solution is to tell me to PUSH! PUSH!

She might be in the wrong profession.

“Emergency! Everybody to get from street!”

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QGgJPmOUmDU

Dealing with trauma and suffering is indeed an integral part of the job.

But that doesn’t mean it doesn’t take it’s toll. And having to witness man’s inhumanity and indifference makes it infinitely worse.

They say that a lot in complaint departments too.

Next time, do the foxtrot.

Geez, maybe she should become a 911 operator!

Well, I do have this bone thing sticking out, but I need you to validate my parking pass for the guy in the hut at the other end of the lot.

Some dance competition program contestants seem to waltz their way into the ER

Have you read the sign?