Pearls Before Swine by Stephan Pastis for October 27, 2022

The he‍ll if

In a way, yes it is.

F*** the French bistro and run to an Italian restaurant.

Le Evil.

You could have had dinner delivered and eaten while watching tv.

There are two appropriate responses here: (1) Pulp him with a baseball bat, or (2) just go get a pizza.

Half the tables are empty because half the staff is out sick …

… food poisoning.

and to make you wait in the bar. ChaCHING!

He’s also not allowed to say that they don’t allow animals without an accompanying human anymore.

And remember to tip generously. This kind of abuse and arrogance doesn’t come cheap. /s

Go to a French Restaurant and ask for tacos.

Those empty tables are reserved, ha ha!

Your mistake was to go to a restaurant that calls itself Le Bistro.

It occurs to me that, although I have eaten in France, I do not think I have ever eaten in a French restaurant. I suppose if I did I would order Wiener Schnitzel mit Berner Rösti.

I wonder if the Maitre D’ and rat are related, both seem to have the same attitude towards customers

Blunt honesty is something I respect. Mostly because I am also bluntly honest.

If he was really honest he would say “Because we are waiting for someone more important than you to show up unexpectedly”. Told to The Count by a friend.

At least he’s honest. I’m never going to a snooty restaurant.

Rebrand the restaurant from Le Bistro to “La B***h-o”

Also, we’re not actually out of Coca-Cola, we just like watching you get mad.

Years ago I went to a Italian restaurant in NYC and asked for French dressing, got some strange looks. Lol

Many years ago my wife and I were visiting a friend in Hamburg, Germany. We stopped at a fancy restaurant and they had beef tartar on the menu which I ordered for myself. When it came, it wasn’t raw beef but was a cooked beef patty with some chopped onions on it. I’m guessing that maybe that’s why cooked beef patties are called hamburgers.

In my part of the world it is because of staff shortages.

Wife and I went to a popular restaurant that does not take reservations one Friday night. Predictably they were busy. Dining area was full with several groups ahead of us. After about 45 minutes the queue was down to us and a table cleared. After about 10 minutes more we hadn’t been seated at the empty table so I asked the hostess how come? Her reply: it’s a 4 top a group of 4 may come in. We left.

Time to head for Le Roi des Burgers…

“Just wait at the bar, because frankly, we need all that high-priced drink income… "

Their ploy is for you to get drunk at the bar and you’ll be so hungry you’ll order their most expensive food! Table for two is ready sirs!

Go to a fancy French Restaurant and order a Peanut Butter and Jelly Sandwich

Do you have reservations?

Some, but I want to eat here anyway.

Thanks(??) to the pandemic,the days of the “snob restaurant”are over.They’ll take anything they can get.

But old enough to remember restaurants who kept spare suit jackets for t he boors who forgot theirs

I’d be honest enough to leave and go to another restaurant….

Nowadays it could be a lack of help rather than a lack of tables.

Go to Chick-Fi-La or something. They might take awhile, but they are polite about it

remember it’s @ before # except after $

It isn’t only available tables but enough waitstaff that can limit the customer numbers

Elitists in a nutshell.

Better, just walk in and sit down at a vacant table. Be obdurate. Win, Rat!

It’s actually to keep from swamping the kitchen.