Oh come on Calvin! Don’t you know that a shirt and socks is the modern equivalent to a lump of coal? Because who needs a lump of coal? Santa gave you that because you are a bad boy!
Santa was having a rough week. Production was behind schedule. Three elves were sick and the replacements that had been called in to help weren’t keeping up
As Santa was loading the sleigh the sack fell over and the toys fell all over the ground.
When Santa went to hitch up the reindeer he found that one was pregnant and about to give birth. Two had jumped the fence and were nowhere to be found.
Just then there was a tiny knock at the door. More delays. Santa was really getting annoyed. When he opened the door there stood a little angel with a Christmas tree. The angel asked Santa would like the tree to be put. . . . . . . And thus began the tradition.
you tell him Calvin – Been what the government has been doing for years – giving stuff away for free and being run incompetently. And look where that got everyone. js
I just imagined a Customs warehouse somewhere in USA overflowing with packages sent from North Pole from Santa, which contains everything from flamethrowers through tanks up to airplanes and custom officer on the verge of nervous breakdown meditating on when he should put their newest addition, intercontinental ballistic missile with 10 multiple independently targeted, re-entry thermonuclear warheads …
The incompetent organization which you are referring serves billions of kids round the globe, fella. For now, your thermo nuke can wait till you reach your teenage.
BE THIS GUY about 2 years ago
I feel sorry for that kid who was looking forward to some warm, and instead has his home invaded by SWAT.
codycab about 2 years ago
If Santa didn’t get you what you want, Calvin, then there’s a reason. Take the hint.
Erse IS better about 2 years ago
Calvin really does remind me … a LOT … of a recently ex President.
sirbadger about 2 years ago
Santa got that order mixed up with someone in the Russia Ukraine area.
Macushlalondra about 2 years ago
Oh come on Calvin! Don’t you know that a shirt and socks is the modern equivalent to a lump of coal? Because who needs a lump of coal? Santa gave you that because you are a bad boy!
meg_grif about 2 years ago
A long-range thermonuclear missile won’t fit through the opening in Santa’s bag of holding.
eastern.woods.metal about 2 years ago
Santa was having a rough week. Production was behind schedule. Three elves were sick and the replacements that had been called in to help weren’t keeping up
As Santa was loading the sleigh the sack fell over and the toys fell all over the ground.
When Santa went to hitch up the reindeer he found that one was pregnant and about to give birth. Two had jumped the fence and were nowhere to be found.
Just then there was a tiny knock at the door. More delays. Santa was really getting annoyed. When he opened the door there stood a little angel with a Christmas tree. The angel asked Santa would like the tree to be put. . . . . . . And thus began the tradition.
jvo about 2 years ago
…..A shaggy dog story if there ever was one….
Jimvideo about 2 years ago
North Korean Dictator Kim Jong-un as a child.
The Reader Premium Member about 2 years ago
Yup, he should have been on the coal list!
Dr. Quatermass about 2 years ago
To me, thermonuclear missiles provide me with no yucks anymore in this day and age.
jagedlo about 2 years ago
I don’t think it’s incompetence, Calvin…it’s that he knows what you’ll do with it!
Zebrastripes about 2 years ago
I remember writing to Santa! My siblings and me usually got what we asked for….it was a short list…and toys weren’t as expensive like today! ☺️
SquidGamerGal about 2 years ago
Why in St. Nicholas’ name would a 5 year-old want a WMD?! He needs help, NOW!!
bbenoit about 2 years ago
Had smart missiles even been invented in 1992?
rshive about 2 years ago
But somebody else got a cheap missile and launcher.
g04922 about 2 years ago
Oh, oh… The next knock at Calvin’s door could be the FBI’s counter-terrorism unit.
g04922 about 2 years ago
Quick… where is Hobbes when we need him?
EnlilEnkiEa about 2 years ago
No receipt, no return. I hate to “rein” on his parade, but I hear customer service is a little “short” at the North Pole.
Saddenedby Premium Member about 2 years ago
you tell him Calvin – Been what the government has been doing for years – giving stuff away for free and being run incompetently. And look where that got everyone. js
A Hip loving Canadian... about 2 years ago
Santa missed an opportunity at humour, should have sent Calvin a thermos instead.
gantech about 2 years ago
Santa: “No, no Rudolph…I said the Schmidt house…!”
sobrown51 about 2 years ago
So… Calvin never gets any toys for Christmas?
mistercatworks about 2 years ago
Maybe when he’s a little older …
Peterh778 about 2 years ago
I just imagined a Customs warehouse somewhere in USA overflowing with packages sent from North Pole from Santa, which contains everything from flamethrowers through tanks up to airplanes and custom officer on the verge of nervous breakdown meditating on when he should put their newest addition, intercontinental ballistic missile with 10 multiple independently targeted, re-entry thermonuclear warheads …
Calvins Brother about 2 years ago
Quality Control is lacking everywhere.
Otis Rufus Driftwood about 2 years ago
Calvin’s new tactic involves criticizing the process then.
wiley207 about 2 years ago
My parents still like to get my brother and I socks as a gag gift…
mckeonfuneralhomebx about 2 years ago
It’s ok, that kid lives in the mideast part of the world
kathleenhicks62 about 2 years ago
Santa is peaceful not war-like.
Mediatech about 2 years ago
Santa tried to deliver the missile, but it got intercepted by NORAD.
mindjob about 2 years ago
There have been a lot of protests outside Santa’s Chinese sweatshops, so he will be moving them to Vietnam, where there will be no problems…
phoenixnyc about 2 years ago
Complaints about a service are worth what you pay for it, Calvin.
SweetSinger about 2 years ago
YAY Socks!
MartinPerry1 about 2 years ago
Calvin, obviously you weren’t good enough during the year to get what you wanted, and instead got the equivalent of coal.
Arghhgarrr Premium Member about 2 years ago
Same free stuff strategy has worked for social media.
neatslob Premium Member about 2 years ago
You should be grateful, at least you won’t be eaten by Jólakötturinn.
hagarthehorrible about 2 years ago
The incompetent organization which you are referring serves billions of kids round the globe, fella. For now, your thermo nuke can wait till you reach your teenage.
lindz.coop Premium Member about 2 years ago
Who gives a 6 year old socks and a shirt for Christmas?