Ripley's Believe It or Not by Ripley’s Believe It or Not! for January 22, 2023

Know something else about Joshua Tree? It’s a wonderful U2 album. The second track “I still haven’t found what I’m looking for” sounds suitable for Kennedy’s missing brain though.

Vampire squids are quite interesting. They’re one of the few animals to use other organisms as bait, gathering up phytoplankton to attract their own prey. That said, as far as carnivores go they’re not much to be afraid of. They mostly feed on very small animals and leftovers dropped by predators in the upper levels of the ocean.

The reason anesthetic works on fly traps is very simple, but very interesting: the physiological mechanism behind their sensors and movements is the same as the one behind nerve signals in animals.

Plants in general actually have the same class of electrical impulses, in order to respond to stuff like injuries or changes in moisture, but since they’re typically much slower about it, flytraps make a better example.

Too bad Seymour Krelborn didn’t know about that. I wonder how that might’ve played out. But then where would Seymour get anesthetics?

Kennedy’s brain disappeared when they were transporting him back from Dallas to Washington. Conspiracy theorists believe it was taken because it would show whether he was shot from the front or from the book repository.

What a wonderful world it would be!—-More bugs, more vampires, more missing brains.

Jason’s brain has been missing for 56 years.

Don’t know if I can outdo that last one of Charlie’s, but here are my feeble offerings:

~ ~ ~ ~ ~

A man was just waking up from anesthesia after surgery, and his wife was sitting by his side.

His eyes fluttered open and he said, “You’re beautiful.” Then he fell asleep again.

His wife had never heard him say that, so she stayed by his side. After a short nap, his eyes fluttered open and he said, “You’re cute!”

The wife was disappointed. She asked her husband’s doctor, “When my husband first woke up, he called me beautiful, but just a minute ago, he woke up again and called me cute. What happened to ‘beautiful’?”

The doctor replied, “The drugs are wearing off.”

Great deal

One day a man walks into a dentist’s office and asks how much it will cost to extract wisdom teeth.

“Eight hundred dollars,” the dentist says.

“That’s a ridiculous amount,” the man says. “Isn’t there a cheaper way?”

“Well,” the dentist says, “if you don’t use an anaesthetic, I can knock it down to $700.”

“That’s still too expensive,” the man says.

“Okay,” says the dentist. “If I save on anesthesia and simply rip the teeth out with a pair of pliers, I could get away with charging $200.”

“Nope,” moans the man, “it’s still too much.”

“Hmm,” says the dentist, scratching his head. “If I let one of my students do it for the experience, I suppose I could charge you just $100.”

“Marvelous,” says the man, “book my wife for next Tuesday!”

Missing brain…

Insert Joe Biden joke here.

I know, low-hanging fruit…

my brain’s been missing for 70 years

Pretty sure it was found in his brother Ted Kenndys possion a couple years back. This came out right after he died, ironically, of brain cancer.

We asked Bella about that, and Mr. Lugosi stated firmly that no squid identifies as an actor with a high collar.

Take care, may happy fly Bzzt “Zzzzt” Bzztord be with you, and gesundheit.

I feel like there’s a joke about Biden’s brain or Trump’s brain (depending on your political affiliations) to be made.

sad

If you want to know where Kennedy’s brain is, just ask Sam Giancana or LBJ. LBJ was the one who paid of the Warren Commission to falsify the results of the inquiry. LBJ wanted Kennedy gone so HE could take over.

Another true tale from S.W. Louisiana,

Back when Hurricane Laura hit us it left a lot of us without anything.

We were lucky that we had some roof damage and trees down in the yard and driveway.

Now my driveway is a 1/4 mile long.So I got my chainsaw and started trying to cut my way out.

After 8 hours I hadn’t gone maybe 25 or 30 yards.

I told the wife that I would have to try again the next day.

I went out and fed my livestock and came out of the barn I thought I heard some chainsaws in the drivewayplus a backup beeper.

I told the wife that I heard chainsaws in the drive and one was so big the dang thing had a backup beeper.

She had called some friends of ours and ask if they could come help when they got the time.

We should worry more about people walking around, missing their brains, especially in Congress.

Thank you for confirming this dark historic fact about the Dallas Assassination!

—> Tuco

3 minutes ago on Ripley’s Believe It or Not

Before my surgery, the anesthesiologist offered to knock me out with gas or a boat paddle…

It was an ether/oar situation.

That’s OK. Donald Trump’s brain has been missing for 76 years.

Contrary to Einstein’s instructions and wishes, his brain was removed so it could be studied.

Fun fact: Venus flytraps are not actually from Venus.

Jasonsnakelover’s brain has been missing for 66 years

Is it just me, or do those park rock formations look suggestive?

Kennedy was a politician. His brain went missing a lot longer ago than 55 years.

I think there may be a parking lot in Texas larger than Rhode Island…

Some here will know the term Occam’s Razor. There are simpler explanations as to what happened to JFK’s brain than improbable conspiracy theories. The public record has the brain in a locker, transferred to the care of Robert F Kennedy. As RFK was assassinated himself not that long after, no one asked him for clarification, but the simplest theories are that it was simply mislabeled and accidentally thrown out, or RFK didn’t want his brother’s brain sitting in some national archive. He had an opportunity to put it in his brother’s coffin and it’s probably still there, in a locked box within the coffin. There are family rumors that he did just that.

That does not look like JFK!

That’s nothing! I know someone whose brain has been missing for 80 years!

Following an article in Rolling Stone magazine by Matt Taibbi after the subprime mortgage crisis of 2008, the term “vampire squid” has been regularly used in popular culture to refer to Goldman Sachs, the American investment bank.

Tiabbi is the man!