Herman by Jim Unger for January 31, 2023

I’d say, take me with you away from here.

Didn’t Kermit sing some song about being green?

I’d say, “waiting for an off-world invite.”

scared stiff isn’t on the list, but he’ll add it.

Market research? Social science? Improv comedy?

Happy animals are the tastiest animals.

I don’t do surveys.

Galaxy Medicare….Earth is filing for food-stamps…since it can’t feed itself…

Answer carefully, they may pick you for anal probing

The more probing questions are coming soon.

To Serve Man?

What about “undecided”? (Change of subject) There is a town here in Texas named “Undecided” because that is what they put on the form when, for the town name, they put that down when filling out the paperwork to incorporate.

So that’s where the Civiqs survey came from that was in my email box, this morning! The second question asked about my degree of happiness.

Just your everyday alien marketing analyst.

What? Aren’t you gonna beam me up?

I’m be very excited to talk to an alien if I could only get my universal translator to work.

Earth isn’t all that great, but it’s not like there are a lot of alternatives.

Well, you’re in luck. I can easily remedy that last option!

Why would any intelligent alien life form, capable of interstellar travel, want to talk to us?

I’m talking to an alien, so that’s kind of cool.

First contact may be for reasons only Unger foresaw.

WHATAMAN!!

Alien intake…

Again with the probing questions!!

I’m on Earth, I’m scared stiff.

Well definitely enjoyed the ride and the views but that proctology exam was sure weird. And just what was that meal? I would give you 3 and 1/2 out of 5 overall…..