That is Priceless by Steve Melcher for February 01, 2023

“I dare you to swipe left.”

/// Wilhelm’s aunt, Mette Sophie, won fame

with Fuglsang* as her Danish last name.

You don’t read that word wrong,

it translates to “birdsong.”

Very sweet (for a broad-shouldered dame).

Persimmon Queen, 1846

Oh dear. My hairs a mess.

Those mitts either kept your hands warm (a consideration when you live without central heating) or were a modesty thing. Women wore gloves in public until the mid 1950s. I guess hands and ankles drove guys mad back then.

Just look at the width of those shoulders!/

Her deltoids resemble twin boulders!/

But she struggles to hide/

Her feminine side/

Which underneath silently smolders..///

She’s strong for a woman her age:/

She’s accustomed to fight in a cage)/

But if you should dare/

To laugh at her hair/

You will soon feel her murderous rage!///

She thinks her outrageous coiffure/

Enhances her girlish allure/

She receives emanations/

From shortwave stations/

From Rangoon to Rancipur !///

She once had a husband who laughed/

At her coiffure- he must have been daft/

When his body was found/

He was thought to have drowned…/

But some say he “gave her a raft”…

“Please hurry” she squeaked to the artist, “this bow has cut off all blood flow to my head.”

Unlike most other Danish girls

Sophie worked out with weights; and curls

She practiced way way too much,

So much her biceps bulged to such

A size it scared the eligible guys,

Who might be attracted otherwise.

The nuts she cracked in crooks of her arms

Did also raise their sharp alarms!

That broad’s got broad shoulders.

Beta testing of a human cone of shame.

Although it was innovative, there never seemed to be a market for the combination bonnet and radar dish

From: @Call me Ishmael

https://www.gocomics.com/profile/2288699

~

Just look at the width of those shoulders!/

Her deltoids resemble twin boulders!/

But she struggles to hide/

Her feminine side/

Which underneath silently smolders..///

She’s strong for a woman her age:/

She’s accustomed to fight in a cage)/

But if you should dare/

To laugh at her hair/

You will soon feel her murderous rage!///

She thinks her outrageous coiffure/

Enhances her girlish allure/

She receives emanations/

From shortwave stations/

From Rangoon to Rancipur !///

She once had a husband who laughed/

At her coiffure- he must have been daft/

When his body was found/

He was thought to have drowned…/

But some say he “gave her a raft”…

Her expression is, at best, rather dour / And hints at a disposition somewhat sour. / The artist tried every guile / To try and get just a bit of a smile. / But she just glared at him hour after hour after hour.

So her sittings were rather stuffy / Wearing that bonnet and sleeves so very puffy. / You can tell by her gaze, / She’s remembering the long-ago days, / When she was the fearless Vampire Slayer named Buffy.

Wilhelm Bendz was a pioneer of cut-n-paste portraiture. Sometimes things were not a good fit, as this 1830 painting illustrates.

Cyclic fashions: That thing on her head could have as easily been on the head of some alien queen on “Star Trek.”

Looks like a Photo Cutout Board.

I’m not saying she’s got a narrow neck, but she has to eat her peas one at a time.

Ludicrously hilarious!

It’s hard to know where to begin there’s so many flaws. Kinda looks like Alan Alda.

Still waiting for her Prince Charming.

And to think, I bet the rent money on her.

Hazel always gets better cell-phone reception than the rest of us.

Portrait of Mette Sophie Fuglsang, the artist’s aunt: 

Paste (including the quote marks) 

"Category:Portrait paintings by Wilhelm Bendz" site=commons.wikimedia.org 

(syntax supported by the Google, Bing, Yahoo, DuckDuckGo, Ecosia, and Yandex search engines) in the browser address bar (or search for it using one of those search engines) and choose the first Category: found, and once there find the text string Mette, and click its link for info and links that point to more info about this roughly square, A4 paper size painting.

Again, a larger strip image is shown by (Ctrl- or right-) clicking the image in Mr. Melcher’s MASTERPIECE #3072 (February 1, 2023) blog entry, accessible by the Check out the blog! box after the last comment, and using the dropdown menu (even larger if you trim what’s after .png from the URL). So far, 4 works by this artist have been used here, the January 25, 2020, strip bring the prior (my comment there points to the blog entry comment with the artist info I used to point to here).

And that headdress hid her cauliflower ears.

“La Tante de L’artiste,” 1830

the very first person from outer space, see her antenna head

That looks good enough. Now go put on the pink dress; and then the women’s clothing for the Sears catalog will be done.

I wouldn’t mess with her! :)

oh, man, you can tell by the disembodied head that this one was photoshopped…

For Thursday:

That groundhog you got as a gift/

Was intended to give you a lift:/

If correctly prepared/

It might even be shared/

with some people you’ve frequently “stiffed”…

Binaural deaf aids?

Living at the intersection of psoriasis and colitis.

All the bad fashion ideas of the early 19th century combined on one poor woman.