Aunty Acid by Ged Backland for February 18, 2023

I’m with you, Aunty.

I’m good at directions, but coming out of a NY subway onto a street, it is hard to know which direction is which!

I prefer it if you’d draw a map.

I used to consider myself the 5th worst navigator in the U.S., then my former became a citizen…

There is a lot of sense to that.

I’m weird in that I can manage with right/left or compass headings, like NE or SW. Maps are easy for me, because we were taught to use them back in elementary school. I’m the navigator in the car, so that works. Hubby drives, I don’t. I need to be up front because that’s the easiest to get in for me. Aside from navigating, I adjust the radio, lock the doors, and hang the handicap placard. He can drive without distractions.

And when you come to an idiot who is lost in the neighbourhood, turn right!

It would be interesting to see if in a “lost episode” she had once wandered into Mr. Roger’s Neighborhood.

How about getting directions from someone who has lived there so long that they tell you to make turns at businesses that are no longer there?

indeed – i don’t understand how that system works – it’s just right and left – do they really think we walk with a compass in the city ???? o_O

Sure, its an app on most phones.

Just go back the way you came lady. And stay out.

Worked at a hotel. So many people said I’m lost. (PBX). I tell them take exit #xx and go north. More times the would say is that left or right. I tell them it will say North on the road exit sign. Left if you are facing East and right if your facing West. They wonder why they are lost. ( Central Florida )

The happed to me.

Me: “Hi, I’m new in town, can you tell me how to get to …”

Local: “Well, you go down to where the old First Baptist Church used to be …”

I also got, “Go down to the river and walk against the current.”

Go to the last stop sign and then turn left.

I rarely get lost. Been a road fan since age 10. The few times I have gotten lost, it was because I was fatigued and the ol’ brain “shut down.”

“Just take the 605 to the 405 to the 710 to the 110 West (Left ☺) to 5 North (Right ☺) to the Slauson Cutoff. Get out of the car and cut off your Slauson…” ☺

My favourite idiotic direction is “turn where the gas station used to be”.

I feel the same way, Aunty.

Aye Aye, Matey. I mean, Aunty.

L/R is variable and dependent on your position at the time – if you screw up a single turn, you’re F’d

N/S/E/W are fixed directions and could easily be inferred from a nearby street sign

What? No Sextant?

Go to the CVS on the corner. DO NOT cross the street to the McD’s. Look for the red and orange sign with a bear on it. Your destination is two shops after it. Carefully read the note on door about it being closed for lack of employees. Mildly curse under your breath… and throw a big rock through the front window.

My father always used to give me directions that would start at his house. I’m driving from my house, thankyouverymuch!

Before you look left or right, better look up. There’s a piano headed your way.

That would be port or starboard if you do run into a pirate or ship’s captain!

Avoid the midwest.

I’d welcome any of those: left, right, east, west — unfortunately my wife’s directions start with, “…not that one street, the other one…” . Literally.

“Turn left, right here.”

GET LOST!

I once decided to meet a friend who was going to be in a city in Canada. I drove from my home without a map. As I mentioned, no sense of direction, but I knew how to get to the border and figured I could get directions or a map there (pre-internet). I couldn’t. They just told me to drive on the same freeway I was on until I got there. I did that, and I don’t do well in large cities. I am used to the suburbs where all my driving isn’t freeways and exits. I made a few decisions to change freeways and was totally getting freaked out. I finally ended up on a real street, drove a bit, asked the man in the car next to me where the hotel I was headed to might be, and it turned out I was 20 feet from the entrance. Pure luck. I was so grateful. It was a weekend night, traffic was heavy, and I was getting tired and it was getting dark out. I had never been there before. I didn’t even have an address. Hours away from my home and end up accidentally 20 feet from my destination.

I was lost at sea once then I realized I was still on a ship in the Navy

Where I live you drive east on the West Interstate and west on the East interstate. It is so fun for tourists who get blinded daily by the setting sun on the East interstate and don’t expect it.

Not that left! The other Left!

the guiding principle in japan is that one must never cause discomfort or embarrassment, so folks who have no idea what you’re talking about will often go to great lengths to be “helpful” by giving you completely incorrect directions. because, of course, it would be shameful not to try to help…

Don’t ask me, Aunty! I’m dyslexic, I have been known to stop dead and stare at my hands until I worked out which was left.

Always left, I could figure out right from there. No, it makes no sense to me, either.

On the other hand, all I need is the sun and a reasonably good guess about the time to figure out north, south, east, and west, so they are my go-to directions.

Plus, “on the far side of Hwy xx” works well. Just, no left or right, because I will be WRONG.

I had someone tell me what street they were on and asked for directions to my house. When they could not handle east, north or south (so they could not tell me which way they were headed, I told them to turn on the correct street so that the setting sun was behind them.

They called me Hiawatha for months after that.

Where I live, its just easier to say east or west. The sun sets in the west, and if you drive west, you hit the Gulf of Mexico. Plus most of the local roads are in a east-west and north-south grid pattern.

Can’t trust GPS unless you are constantly updating and even then it is not always right. Rented a car once. The two of us took our phones with GPS capability. Each of the GPS directions given by the car and our phone were different. My response way take the next exit that said West. It worked.

strange, I never get lost…

someone is always telling me where to go

⁽ ᵒˡᵈ ʲᵒᵏᵉ ⁻ ᶜᵒᵘˡᵈⁿ’ᵗ ᶠᶦⁿᵈ ᶦᵗˢ ᵒʳᶦᵍᶦⁿ ⁾

I used to get lost in the hospital where my dog is a therapy dog. When I would be unable to find my way, I would go to the floor the cafeteria was on, and my dog would lead me right there. Then I would have a frame of reference to get on with our visits. Now I go with another person who seems to be a human GPS device, but today I had to help direct her at one point. Generally, if I think she is going in the wrong direction I will defer out of common sense, but this time I was sure. We both get migraines randomly and end up having to help each other out, and our dogs just make a great pair and get along so well. Between a beagle and a golden, almost anyone we see is in love with one or both of them. We stayed too long today and our last floor was so excited to see us we were there much longer than usual, but it was all worth it to see the joy our dogs share with others.