Close to Home by John McPherson for April 28, 2023

not a great place to be stuck!

Just spray the platform with Pam.®

There are so many things wrong with that sentence that it’s impossible to know where to begin.

My wife will love this. Once about every 2 or 3 months she does this for an Alzheimer’s clinical trial. She says it sounds kind of like being in a tympani, but she still has to try not to go to sleep.

I recall the technician complaining that the computer was flakey and needed another reboot! Microsoft……operating system. I was not comfortable.

Not a place for claustrophobics.

I don’t think they’re greasin’ her up because of a tight fit. I think they’re greasin’ her up cause they want a more golden crust on her!

Oh, thank goodness: Bleeb’s back. Hi, Bleeb!

I do this every two years for 45-50 minutes. I’ve learned to not drink coffee beforehand.

I’m always afraid I’ll be forgotten with that cage over my head. Thankfully it hasn’t happened.

Basting before going in…..

well she violated HIPPA…when she said the other ladies name…

The toon would make a lot more sense, if the patient was one huge fat person. But the snowflakes won’t allow that today.

I wonder what happens if you leave someone in there for two long? I mean, it’s just a big magnet. Right?

Those MRI machines are tight, but much more roomy than they were 30 years ago.

This is where the term Schmantzy Pants came from.

Mrs. Schmaltz, on the other hand, had no problems at all.

I’m assuming mrs schmantz don’t hold her gut in when she entered

It would be funnier if this patient was fat too.

Just recently had an MRI scan. Didn’t get this at first, as there was no fitment issue.

But if you never had one, be warned, they are REALLY LOUD – hearing damage loud, and it just goes on and on with multiple noises (screeches, roars, bangs, pops, etc.) for the whole scan time, 45 minutes in my case. The room was kept cool for the machine, and I was cold to start, but it heated me up, so that I was hot and sweating by the time it was done.

Is that the “Mrs. Schmantz Memorial MRI”?

Medium rare, please.

C’mon guys, that’s just a perversion for groping the victim…

Doesn’t look like the tunnel of love?…

To be fair, Mrs. Shmantz could barely fit into her pants.

Darn. I never got that kind of treatment when I had an MRI done! With that kind of prep, I think I’d ask for a retake or two! ;-p (Note to self: D-A-M-N is a bad word)

Apparently, there are different sizes of MRI machines. A technician once tried to cram me into a child-sized one where my nose would have been touching the inside top of the machine and my shoulders didn’t have even an inch to spare on either side. I’d had an MRI before and knew this couldn’t be right. I had to be rescheduled and sent to another hospital 20 miles away to have the test done properly. It’s no laughing matter when you already have serious health problems. This cartoon DID make me laugh though. After all, laughter is the best medicine, especially if you don’t have something seriously wrong.

When medical technicians go bad… and become pranksters…