Pearls Before Swine by Stephan Pastis for August 28, 2023

Try being like Abe Lincoln

Years ago, Rat made “motivational” posters, including my all-time favorite:

“YOU’VE JUST GOT TO BELIEVE IN YOURSELF

Because Lord Knows Everybody Else Thinks You’re A Melonhead"

You keep being you Pig!

What does this say about my mindset? I first interpreted Pig’s new maxim as referring to identity theft.

That would motivate an identity thief.

The way i heard that was ‘be yourself. everyone else is taken.’

Yes, there are lots of people who I wish would be someone else.

I think I’ll be Pastis.

A lot of people can do that without even thinking about it!

How about “Improve Yourself”?!

I hated being told “be yourself” by teachers etc when I was a kid. I was myself. That appeared to be the problem. Then I realised that when teachers, camp monitors etc said “be yourself” what they meant was “be like everyone else” and some even meant “be like me.”

When the teen advice columns counseled,“Just be yourself” to be popular, I thought to myself, “That’s not working out so well. Time to be someone else.”

Always be yourself. Unless you can be Batman. Then be Batman.

Know thyself. Priceless.

Must be talking about politicians.

“Don’t be you.”

I’m surprised Despair, Inc. hasn’t recruited Pig. He’d be much better at demotivational posters.

Be yourself. Unless you can be a unicorn, then, be a unicorn. Or if you can, be Batman. Or maybe you could be the Apostle Paul. Hm. Well, be yourself: you may surprise everybody. Including yourself.

“Identify” as someone else.

I’ll try Elvis.. a-HEM … YOU AIN’T NOTHIN’ BUT A HOUND DOG…. never mind, I hurt my throat and my knees and my hip.

The be yourself recommendation doesn’t work well if one is a rude, selfish jerk and a narcissistic liar.

Sometimes, you have to change yourself for the best, especially if you’re mean and rude to everyone. Like a certain rodent we all know and tolerate.

Be like Frank Sinatra, I gotta be me, I gotta be me.

“Be yourself” is really bad advice. You know why? Because we humans are evil, so saying “Be yourself” is essentially telling a person to be evil.

Better yourself. I’m trying to.

Rat would be someone else and use their credit cards and debit card at a few ATMs. Write a few large checks to himself, too. No wonder we all ❤️ Rat.

You know the way you are? Don’t be that way.

Be the person Mr. Rogers believes you are.

I’ll stick to the original sign. Who wants a fake me?

I tried being someone else, but I was arrested for identity theft.

Be yourself; everyone else is already taken. Oscar Wilde

Rule #1 : Be Benevolent

Rule #2 : If you can’t (or won’t) be benevolent, then at the very least, be non-malevolent.

“There’s only on rule that I know of, babies. God d@mn it, you’ve got to be kind.”

So much truth here.

Do you want to be somebody else? Are you sick of feeling so left out? Are you desperate to find something more before your life is over?

Bonus points if you’re picturing Conan O’Brien and the hunky newcomer dreamily staring at each other.

Most motivational advice translates to “Be more like me.”

In the ’80s someone put up “Loose Lips Sink Ships.” It was Bell Telephone Laboratories near our DOD work District.

in small print

except Elon or elite 0.001%, Donald or any politician, Putin or any other despot.

Being someone else is g ood advice for Rat

Always be yourself

Unless you can be Batman

In that case

Be BATMAN!

OK, but as has been pointed out, the problem with “being someone else” is that the job is already taken.

He gave Rat the first ‘Be someone else’ poster.

I am not so much inspired as bemused by Pig….