Moderately Confused by Jeff Stahler for September 06, 2023

Oh great.

Me: After the surgery will I be able to play the piano?

Doctor: Absolutely

Me: Great…I could never play one before.

Been there, doing that

Well at least he’s telling it like it is, or will be, rather.

When I had my knee replaced, I was told that it would be weight bearing before they even closed me up.

Several hours post op, I had the urge to urinate but could not. I had four nurses with four different catheters trying to insert these instruments of torture into me with no success. They were about to send me back to the OR and call in the urologist on duty.

Then the gray haired nurse in the back of the room (my wife) shouted out. “Stand him up!”

They looked at her and she repeated the request. The nurses asked me if I thought I could stand. If the question was “Do you think you could stand on your head?” My answer would still have been in the affirmative.

So four nurses, an IV pole, other assorted equipment and I shuffle off to the bathroom. If I had fallen down, I would not have made it to the floor with all the bodies and other equipment.

It worked and I then was making hourly trips because they kept putting IV fluid in my body.

The next day, the physical therapist came by. She started with, "Today we’ll get you out of bed and … " She then flipped the page, "OK, Day 2 … "

Well, depending on his pre-op age and condition that isn’t necessarily a bad thing. Lots of guys my age and older walk, are fairly athletic, and do most of the chores around their yards and homes. Can’t knock that.

Finally an honest doctor.

How encouraging…☹️

This aint no longer so funny…

I’d settle for that.

I guess it’s not a leg amputation.

Good enough.

I had a triple bypass 8 years ago. When I walked in to see my cardiologist 9 weeks after the surgery she said “Wow!” A day later the surgeon said the exact same thing. I never asked what I was supposed to look like. Last year I broke my ankle and went to the same hospital and one of the nurses remembered me. Seriously?

“You may have some setbacks in your recovery, which is to be expected when you’re as old as Methuselah!!”

Take that for acting like a 25yo man.