Moderately Confused by Jeff Stahler for September 12, 2023

Nah, the anxiety is flavored bitter greed by the money oligarchs and corporations have bought the government with. Scented by the steadily deminishing quality of life the peons have experienced in the last four decades.

Stop drinking too much coffee then.

If the pumpkin spice isn’t in pumpkin pie, forget it.

Not sure what is worse, beer or wings. You vote.

I heard from a reliable source that there is a pumpkin spiced wipe (as in butt wipe). Why, you ask? Who knows

I’m waiting for the pumpkin spice flavored pumpkin spice.

I knew Labor Day was here. All the stores have their Halloween stuff up.

I picked up some pumpkin spice WD-40 in an orange and black can at the hardware store. Before you run out looking for it, I am just kidding.

Every year the same hype for pumpkin flavored whatever. Gets really tiresome. But, it seems nobody ever promotes cantaloupe or honeydew or the other melons, but all are considered very good. Don’t those growers have a promotion group?

Why not? Every d@mn thing else is pumpkin flavored!

I have NEVER bought anything “pumpkin spiced” and I never will. It makes my skin crawl when I see all of the ads and store displays.

This pumpkin spice mania is driving me out of my gourd.

Those are the latest mother’s helper pill taste sensation…

You know, somehow, I am willing to believe that there’s someone, somewhere, who read this— and IMMEDIATELY called their company’s R&D department and said, “Listen, get to work on this… pumpkin spice flavored anxiety attacks!”